not me! monday

welcome to not me! monday! this blog carnival was created by mckmama. you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

first of all, i have NOT been MIA. i have NOT neglected my blog for a day shy of two weeks. and i do NOT have perfectly good reasons. you know i love my bloggy/online family, but my real family comes FIRST! so let me be the first to apologize if my blogging is sporadic for the next few months.

* * * * *

and now for the embarrassment. you know how you're a better driver when there's people riding in the car with you, right? well, apparently that doesn't make a difference for me. a week and a half ago, my sis-in-law, my beautiful niece (hi ricci! i love you!), ryan, and i went to sonic for ice cream. i pulled into the drive-in diner, ordered our ice cream, we ate, and then we were gonna leave. but i didn't want to drive with my empty ice cream bowl. so i spotted a nearby trash can (about 8 feet away), and when my sister volunteered to get out of the car and throw it away i did NOT say, "no, i'll just drive over there." so i pulled out of my parking space, and drove up close to the trash can so that i could throw my bowl out the window, and BAM!!! i did NOT hit the trash can. said can did NOT start to tip over. we all did NOT start laughing. i quickly backed up, the trash can stopped rocking, i tried again (this time staying far away from it), threw the trash out the window (thank goodness it went in the can!), and then i drove off, blaming my mishap on all the ice in the parking lot...

at our next stop i got out but couldn't see any damage underneath the filth of my car. so i have NOT refrained from washing the car just so that ben won't see any scratches!

* * * * *

well you know you have good neighbors when they'd pick up your trash for you. i do NOT know this firsthand... as i was taking the trash out the other night (at midnight) i saw my neighbors just getting home—a mom and her high school senior daughter that we'll call breanna. we started talking, so i walked over to them on my way to the dumpster. and right when i got over to their car, one of my trash bags did NOT rip open at the bottom, and trash did NOT spew everywhere!!! oh just wait for it—it gets better...

it was the bathroom trash.

i don't know about you, but in my opinion, bathroom trash is the most embarrassing. spew junk mail and food scraps any day, but bathroom trash?! diapers, snotty kleenexes, q-tips, etc...

i did NOT scurry and start putting the trash in my other bag (which conveniently had enough room), and then breanna did NOT bend down to help me. i did NOT almost yell at her and say "NOOOO.... this is bathroom trash. please, you don't need to help!!" she did NOT help me anyway. i was NOT incredibly thankful when i thought of the other stuff that could have been in there had it been a different time of the month...!

ahhhh.... happy monday! tune in next week. maybe i'll air my dirty laundry—literally!

not me! monday ~ birthday edition

we do NOT not do birthdays around here. confused?! with my birthday on the 9th, then ben's on the 17th, and with valentine's day in the middle, we don't get too hyped up with celebrations. usually we just go out for dinner and kill three birds with one stone.

but ryan's hand foot and mouth disease put the kybosh on my plans of taking ben out to dinner on his birthday last wednesday, so i came up with some last minute plans:

a cake was the first thing in order. i was NOT extremely relieved when i found a cake mix AND matching frosting in the pantry. ryan did NOT enjoy licking the batter (or ice cream as he called it) off the beaters and decorating the cake eating the frosting and sprinkles.

and then i had the not-so-brilliant-idea to make ben a happy birthday poster life-sized banner. i did NOT spend the rest of the morning printing and cutting out big colorful letters and making the kids color pictures. and then i did NOT get sidetracked—i had made ben coupons for his birthday (you know, like one free back massage, take out the trash for you, and get out of trouble free), and did NOT forget to print them out.

cue the break for lunch—i did NOT figure that i'd have plenty of time to finish my projects before ben got home from work, so i decided to sit down and eat lunch with the kids.

right after lunch ben did NOT call to say he was on his way home and that he'd be home in 30 minutes.

30 minutes!!!

i did NOT scramble to hide the cake on the washing machine behind the laundry basket, clean up my mess of paper scraps, and then hide all the letters and pictures and coupons in our bed underneath the sheets.

the kids and i did NOT welcome him home with "happy birthday to you," and then cancel school and totally abandon him to go work on our project. it did NOT take me about two hours to cut out and staple the coupons into booklets and glue letters and pictures onto the roll of paper.

well clearly i did NOT fail to think out the banner. because when it was done? and it was time to tape it up on the wall? waaayyyyyy to big to do it by myself. although i did do it by myself...

anyway, 129 inches later, it was all taped up on the wall. that's right, the banner ended up being 10 feet 9 inches long!!

it was NOT worth it though, don't you think?

overall, it did NOT turn out okay. and i am NOT lucky to have a husband that doesn't care if he gets a real present or not! happy 31st birthday ben! next year i will NOT plan better!

go visit mckmama.com for more not me! fun.

not me! monday

welcome to not me! monday! this blog carnival was created by mckmama. you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. but as for us...

i did NOT let ryan wear big boy underwear for a couple days just to make myself remember to take him potty. we did NOT have two successfull days with no accidents. and ry does NOT look super duper cute in his undies!

unfortunately, ry got sick last week so we've been taking a few days off. he did NOT have a fever last tuesday and wednesday, and then on saturday night i did NOT notice that he had a rash on his legs and arms. it did NOT turn out that the poor boy has hand foot and mouth disease. he does NOT have blister like sores all over his hands and feet, and inside his mouth. and i do NOT want to pop them so badly. (but don't worry—i won't do that!!!)

so remember last year when i realized that my mom had sent me the same birthday card three years in a row? well this year she didn't send me a duplicate, although she did tell me that was the first card she picked up in the store... anyway. every year mom sends samantha and ryan valentines. so i did NOT crack up laughing when samantha opened hers and exclaimed "MOM! THIS IS THE SAME ONE GRAMMA SENT ME LAST YEAR!!"

we don't usually do anything for valentine's day or get each other anything, so when ben had to work yesterday it was no big deal. but even though we don't do anything to celebrate doesn't mean i don't appreciate it when we do! so i was NOT super excited when he told me he'd go get dinner so i wouldn't have to cook! and then after dinner? ben and samantha were being quiet in the kitchen when suddenly he did NOT bring me the canola oil and ask "is this our vegetable oil?" when i told him yes and asked why, he told me he was just making sure it was okay. and then samantha, the queen of elusiveness, did NOT bring in the same oil and ask "mom? is this good brownie oil?" and then later, she did NOT bring me the rubber scraper and ask "do you want a lick of batter? it's not any special kind of batter, it's just brown batter."

well, it turns out that it was special batter. because can i tell you that those perfect ghirardelli brownies were NOT the best valentine's day present (and the best brownies!)?! Mmmmmm! i did NOT enjoy one for breakfast this morning. or two...!

here's to a good week—happy monday!!

not me! monday

finally back with a not me! last monday i was NOT way too exhausted to even think about blogging. our about to be 5 year old niece did NOT come over the previous friday because her parents were out of town. she did NOT cry and whine going to bed that night. and then she did NOT wake up the next morning throwing up. i did NOT lysol, clorox wipe, and germex every furniture, surface, and hand constantly. and i did NOT do mounds of bedding and blankets. that night, thankfully, she slept awesome. it was NOT because of the heaven-sent tylenol and benadryl. the next night, however, different story. she did NOT cry and cry again. and then at 3:30, she did NOT get up repeatedly to go to the bathroom, or get a drink, or cry, or tell me about a bad dream, etc. this did NOT go on until 7am when i finally made her go sleep on the couch. she did NOT come and wake me up a little later with blood on her shirt and fingers and nose... it was NOT monday—her last day with us. that night? i did NOT sleep like a baby the whole night through!


one night, after seeing a commercial for feminine products, samantha did NOT start asking a bunch of questions about what they were for and why mommies had to use them. my dear husband, ben, did NOT tell her that they were diapers for me to wear in case i went potty in my panties... umm?! thanks hun.


and speaking of panties, my dearest daughter did NOT grab a pair of my panties, hold them up for my mother-in-law to see, and announce, "nana!! look at mommy's panties!" they were not my mesh, ruffled, hot pink panties...


my sister has NOT come to the conclusion that i am disaster prone after i unintentionally drank bleach one night. you see, the bleach dispenser on my washing machine seemed to be clogged. after the bleach (not just straight bleach, the thicker color safe bleach) finally drained, i poured some water in the dispenser to see if it would drain. it didn't. so i did NOT decide to shove a straw down the hole to see if it was clogged. i tried to blow into the straw to try to loosen up the clog. but that didn't seem to work. so in my state of stupidity, i did NOT then decide to try and unclog it by SUCKING on the straw. annnnndddd.... mouth full of bleach. i did NOT immediately spit it into the washing machine. and then rinse my mouth out. again and again. it was finally ice cream that took that awful taste out of my mouth.


go visit mckmama.com to see if there's anyone else as stupid as me... i know i'm gonna!

not me! monday

oh boy. where do i begin? there are just too many things that have NOT happened since my last not me! monday post. but today, i'll keep it short and sweet. er, uhhh, well just read...

last week, after the kids were in bed asleep and ben and i were about to get our nightly netflix fix (say that 5 times fast), i did NOT go to the freezer to get my nightly serving and a half of ice cream. i did NOT easily open the freezer door to a winter wonderland of snow and frost covering everthing in my packed freezer. yes... that's right—the night before when i put the ice cream away? i didn't shut the door all the way...

upon realizing this i did NOT slam the door shut, thinking that it would somehow reverse the problem, i guess. but then i decided to deal with it then and there. i started loading garbage bags with thawing frozen food and salvaging what i could. ben did NOT take over 6 bags of freezer food to the trash. and i was NOT sulking—not because we were throwing hundreds of dollars of food away, but because the ice cream was soupy and now i wouldn't be able to have any.

i started cleaning some of the ice out of the freezer (it really needed to be defrosted, too, so i guess this wasn't all bad), thinking that ben was out at the dumpster for a very long time... when finally he came back inside holding one of our [nine] quarts of soupy ice cream. he did NOT say, "hey, i was digging through the trash and this one isn't too bad. you could have some of it..." i was NOT thinking eww, gross, disgusting, but felt it anyway and it was frozen solid! i was still repelled by the thought of eating it though, thinking it had already been in the trash, when ben told me he did NOT go to the grocery store really quick to buy it for me! awwwww...... ♥

then my moment of you're so sweet got inturrupted. i looked at him, my eyes grew wide, and i did NOT say, "YOU DID NOT JUST GO TO THE STORE IN YOUR JAMMIE PANTS!!!" oh goodness. i'm sure that someday we will NOT end up on peopleofwalmart.com.

ahem.

so that was that. we enjoyed our cookie dough ice cream, netflix, went to bed, and all was well. until i woke up the next morning. the bag of frozen bread dough that i had set on the counter had NOT risen all night, exploded through the bag, and made a huge doughy mess. well thank goodness i threw it in the garbage before i went to bed—the mess was contained in the trash can! but it was quite funny to see a huge glob of dough bursting through its bag. i did NOT punch it down about 3 times before ben came home and took out that trash bag...!

and now fast forward to today. i was able to save a roast. so i decided it needed to be cooked today. i got it in the oven, left the styrofoam tray on the STOVE, and started making the kids' lunch.

yeah yeah... you're probably thinking the same thing my sister thought, ERIN! you did NOT turn the burner on did you?! no, people i am NOT that stupid (really, i am...). but my lovely daughter, smart as she is, did NOT think the bloody meat juice in the bottom of the tray was "vanilla that we use in cakes," and did NOT decide to dip her finger in for a lick. well, at least she has a little smarts—she told me she wiped her finger on the towel "because the vanilla was cold," and then licked it.

see? this is why i should NOT be entirely banned from the kitchen!

visit mckmama for more not me fun! me? i'm off to eat some roast!

not me! monday

well obviously i have NOT neglected my blog posting and reading to enjoy Christmas with my family, but now i'm back!

when i left you last, i was NOT looking forward to getting two teeth cut out. the oral surgery did NOT go great, with a little pain afterwards that has been easily remedied with advil. on Christmas Eve i did NOT slightly look like john mccain, due to swelling. and for the past three days? i have NOT had a bright yellow bruise on my cheek. but it is NOT so much better than super gluing my tooth!!

so speaking of Christmas... our plans for a lasagna dinner did NOT almost go up in flames. literally. while i was preparing said dinner, i did NOT place the box of lasagna noodles on the stove so that i could get my 9x13 pan out and i did NOT once again turn on the wrong burner, thus burning the cardboard lasagna box. and one noodle inside. i did NOT fess up and tell ben so he could lecture me before he smelled the burnt box and lecture me anyway. he did NOT come up with the brilliant idea to take all burners except one out of the stove. sounds good to me—what a great excuse not to cook!

the highlight of our Christmas with ben's family was NOT a "blush brush" that my 12 year old niece got in her stocking. i will NOT let the pictures tell the rest of the story...

yesterday it was warm enough that samantha got to go out and play in the snow. so i got her snow pants out only to realize that they were NOT a size 4T. surprisingly she fit into them. however, they did NOT come about halfway up her shins. so i did NOT lengthen the shoulder straps with ribbon and safety pins and then pull the legs down so that she could still wear them!

one of samantha's Christmas presents was a girl's day out with only mom which included dinner and getting her ears pierced. so i took her tonight to get it done, and all the way there she was talking about how excited she was, but also how nervous she was at the same time. and then she did NOT say to me in her teenager voice, "mom? i don't want a big audience there when i get my ears pierced, but i just wish dad and ryan could be there because they like just support me sooooo much and i just wish i could have a little more support there with me." i did NOT try so hard to keep from bursting out in laughter. and thankfully i did NOT succeed!

she did NOT do great and i was NOT extremely proud of her bravery. oh, and she did NOT age about 10 years. because on the way home, she was NOT constantly talking about when she'll get her driver's license and how she just wishes she could drive right now. oh boy...

before—could she be any more excited?!

after—my brave girl!

happy monday!

not me! monday

it's monday... happy not me!


this week i have NOT abstained from peeking in my Christmas present(s). i do NOT want to peek so badly. and i just might NOT peek before Christmas gets here. but in other news, ben and my MIL were conspiring on the phone and searching the internet for something for me. and when they couldn't find it, i did NOT hear them say that they'd have to wait until next year. ahh! this past week has been hard enough not knowing what my presents were. how could i wait a whole year?! but last night? i figured out what it was!! i was looking for something on ebay and halfway down the page it had pictures of items recently looked at. aha!! when i asked ben about it he did NOT deny it and pretend he didn't know what i was talking about. after much interrogation he finally admitted it. ahh... sweet victory. and now i don't have to be in suspense for a year!

so if you thought the phlegm flying onto my leg was gross last week, stop reading. (don't say i didn't warn you.) as the week progressed, so did my cold. my head was so stuffy and my nose was so plugged, that one morning in the shower i did NOT blow my nose into my bare hands. nope. i definitely did NOT do that. instead i decided that not being able to breathe was better than doing something that nasty. only a man would blow green gobs of mucus into their hands, right?!

i did NOT rinse and repeat the next day. (read: i blew my nose into my hands the next morning too.)

i did NOT finish designing our Christmas cards/pictures online last week, but have yet to order them. the way i'm going, i am NOT thinking that they might end up being new year's cards...

happy monday!!

not me! monday

ben was NOT home wednesday through today due to lack of work. and in our attempt to get some things done around the house, we did NOT get side-tracked by the mess of wires behind our TV. we did NOT spend one afternoon disconnecting, labeling, re-routing, and reconnecting cords and wires. i can NOT honestly say that the back of our TV is the only organized space in the house.

samantha did NOT have the whole week off school last week. this vacation was NOT unplanned and spontaneous. i am NOT counting wii games (she has to read), farmville (science), and shopping (social studies, math) as her school for last week, simply because that's about all she did!!

last week we did NOT get the tree up, 95% of the presents bought, gifts wrapped and placed under the tree. this is NOT the earliest we've ever had this done so we are NOT way ahead of schedule this year. now i will NOT be able to spend all my free non-stressful time cleaning the house....

this morning i did NOT go and soak in the tub after i told ben i was gonna jump in the shower quick. and i did NOT put my head under the water so i would not hear the kids and feel guilty for relaxing. and then i did NOT decide to shave my legs since i'm starting to look a bit manly. i did NOT have to pick globs of hair out of the razor a few times and i did NOT have to use more than one razor to thoroughly complete the job.

and just because i like to give y'all too much information and gross you out, while in the bathtub i did NOT have a coughing fit (remember we're all sick here) and a big glob of phlegm did NOT go flying somewhere out of my mouth. a couple minutes later i did NOT finally find it on my leg...


there ya go! what have you NOT been doing lately? join in on the fun or visit mckmama for some more not me! monday therapy!

not me! monday

what a fast, busy, fun week! we did NOT have a wonderful thanksgiving with ben's family on thursday. we did NOT eat to our heart's content and did NOT gaze for hours at all the black friday ads.

ben and i did NOT make a spur of the moment decision and we did NOT take his mom up on her offer to have the kids spend the night so we could go shopping on black friday. after deciding we weren't going to go to toys r us at midnight (the line was crazy long) we did NOT go get "dinner" (no we hadn't eaten dinner yet) at the gas station. i seriously did NOT eat a hot dog, half of an apple fritter, and a cappuccino at 1am. really, who would do that?! we did NOT stay up until 2:30am shopping online, go to bed, and then get up at 4am to go to target.

we did NOT have so much fun! after the day was said and done we did not go to target, walmart, toys r us, a different walmart, and a different target. and then on saturday ben did NOT go back to target. two times. we did NOT get a LOT of our Christmas shopping done!

we do NOT have a stack of items to return to walmart and target...

and speaking of Christmas shopping, ben did NOT tell me that he was going to buy me a present. (we normally don't exchange Christmas presents, so this was a surprise!) and then he did NOT tell me that it was in the ebay room. i have NOT been wrestling with the thought of going and finding said Christmas present.

the more i think of it the more i do NOT want to go peek...

i am NOT staying out of the ebay room...


how was your week?! go check out mckmama.com for more not me! monday fun!

not me! monday

welcome to not me! monday! this blog carnival was created by mckmama. you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

last monday my tooth broke. like the whole side of it cracked and was pulling away from my filling. so because i know that i won't be able to get into the dentist anytime soon (and because we don't have dental insurance and i don't feel like paying for a crown or a bridge—it's a tooth that's had a root canal.), i did NOT super glue my tooth. nope. not me! i did NOT get my handy dandy trusty headlight, my home dental kit (you know, the mirror and the pick thingy), and the super glue and i did NOT pull my tooth away from the filling and then squirt a bunch of super glue down in the crevice and push my tooth back into place. no... i definitely didn't do that! because if i did, i surely would've made a drawing or something. (sorry guys, i really did plan on making a visual aid, but i didn't have time today.)

after driving around to 4 local targets looking for a specific item, and calling my sister in minnesota to look for it, i did NOT convince my husband that we needed to go to a target 20 miles away. it was NOT an item that cost $2.50. i did NOT finally find it there, making the 40 mile round trip excursion a success. please don't ask how much gas we wasted...

on thursday i did NOT re-super glue my tooth.

on friday i decided to finally put away the groceries that had NOT been sitting on the floor in bags for about a week. and while i was over by the panty* i was NOT attacked by a swarm of fruit flies. ok, so i wasn't really attacked... anyway, in the bottom of my pantry i noticed that a walmart bag full of apples had a bunch of condensation on the inside. so i went to touch the bag just to find out that they were all rotten! (the bag was sitting on a couple other bags of potatoes and apples that were sitting on a couple 12 packs of soda.) so i got a trash bag to put it in, and when i pulled it out i realized the whole bag was pretty much liquid. it got all over the floor and all over me and it smelled like apple wine! a wonderful reminder of why i don't like wine... i cleaned out the rest of the stuff—the rotten apple juice had seeped down through the other bags, and through the packs of pop all the way down to the floor. needless to say, everything went to the trash. man, what is it with me and fermented fruit?!

*thanks for pointing out the typo, heather. no, people, i really do not keep groceries in my panties...

tonight i did NOT cook dinner. we did NOT eat at the kitchen table (third time in a week! *gasp!*). i did NOT put away the food after we were done eating. i did NOT wash the dishes. by hand. i did NOT then dry said dishes and put most of them away. my mom will NOT fall out of her chair when she reads this!

on thursday morning i did NOT stupidly cause a small fire in my kitchen. you'd think i'd learn from a mistake like that, right?! wrong. all day yesterday and most of today my stove did NOT look like this:



really, who would put the newspaper on the stove after they started a fire three days ago?! certainly NOT ME!!

the fire department is NOT on speed dial...


happy monday!

not me! monday

it's monday and mckmama's back for not me!! hop on over to her blog for some theraputic reading or to play along. of course, you know, after you read this post!



if you're friends with me on facebook, you may already know this story. samantha likes to play farmville on ben's facebook, and one day while playing it, she did NOT ask me, "mom, what does e-m-a-i-l mean?"

me: "why honey?"

sam: "because i'm signing up for facebook!"

me: "ummm.... no you're not!!! you're too young to sign up for facebook."

sam: "no i'm not too young. see..?!" as she's pointing to the sign-up page.

me: "no, you can't sign up honey.'

i did NOT think that was that, and go about my business, when a couple minutes later she did NOT ask, "mom, what year do i put in?"

me: "SAMANTHA YOU MAY NOT SIGN UP FOR FACEBOOK!!!!"

* * * * *

this week ben did NOT open a wii game (that we got for samantha for christmas) to try it out to see if it would be a good game to get for some other family members. he did NOT end up showing it to samantha and letting her play with it just so that he could keep playing it also. oh well, right?! so then a couple days later he did NOT do that with yet another game that we had gotten for her. and in the days since then, he has NOT played those games more than she has... ok, i admit it, i have NOT been playing them more than her either!

* * * * *

and not to leave ryry out, the other night i did NOT try to bribe him to give me a goodnight kiss in exchange for his binkie and chewy (his lovey). he did NOT refuse my offer. so therefore he did NOT have to go to sleep without said binkie and chewy.

when i tried that trick again last night, he did NOT cry and cry "BIIINNNNKKKKKIIIIIEEEEE" for about 15 minutes. and when i finally gave in and let him have it, he did NOT tearfully say "thaaaaaank yooooou." ahhh. it did NOT melt my heart. and speaking of the little peanut, he did NOT have some hard-working guardian angels this week...

* * * * *

what have you NOT done lately?! happy monday!

not me! monday

happy not me! monday y'all.


after our mountain of halloween candy that was purchased last year (that we gave most away and didn't even eat), we did NOT go to 3 different targets looking for cheap clearance candy this past week. and even though we didn't really find any candy to buy, ben and i did NOT find costumes for each other for 75% off. so if you saw that couple in target with the desert dancer and french maid outfit in their cart it was NOT us.

ahem.

moving on...


i took ryan to a thrift store the other day and did NOT find the complete game of "lucky ducks" for him. as ry held it while we looked around the store, the game did NOT turn on while inside the box. there was NOT loud quacking coming from our cart. and when i opened the box to turn it off, i couldn't figure out how to turn it off. so i did NOT close the box, continue to walk around the store with a loudly quacking game, pay for it, and walk out to the car and stick it in the trunk. ryan did NOT show me how to turn it off later...


while sitting in the drive-thru yesterday, i did NOT roll down my window and attempt to dump water out of an old taco bell cup. however i did NOT stop to think about the fact that the wind was blowing in right at me. you see where this is going, don't you?! ...i did NOT toss the water out the window only to have some of it come back in on me. ben did NOT have a good laugh.


i am NOT on pins and needles today waiting to hear updates on stellan. please pray for him and mckmama (founder of not me! monday) as they face a very risky surgery today. get all of mckmama's twitter updates here, or visit mckmama.com.

happy monday!

not me! monday

i did NOT get ryan's EEG and MRI results on friday. and although i wanted to write an update that night, i was NOT incredibly confused by the diagnosis. so i have NOT been googling like mad this weekend. and after i read the first sentence of an article and was NOT totally perplexed by the terminology, i did NOT spend over 2 hours just reading about the brain and trying to understand basic stuff you'd probably learn in school.

i am NOT incredibly glad that i video recorded the appointment so that i could relisten to it at home. i did NOT just randomly hold the camera, so when i got home and watched it i did NOT enjoy watching the kids play during the appointment (and ryan sticking his tongue out at dr. h)!


i am NOT going to call the neurologist with some more questions today and hopefully get her email address in case i have more questions! then sometime i will NOT get an update for y'all!

* * * * *

in the process of making a cup of chai one early morning, i did NOT turn on the back burner for the tea kettle, all the while making sure the dirty plate (from the night before. not pictured.) on the front burner was far enough away. and then i did NOT smell something burning. maybe the dirty napkin fell off the plate onto the burner? and then i heard popping. as i went to see what was happening, i did NOT notice that i had in fact turned on the front burner, thus causing the food particles on said plate to burn. i did NOT grab the plate off of the burner, totally forgetting that it would be burning hot and almost drop it, and quickly set it on the cutting board that was on the other burner. it did NOT melt a ring on my cutting board.

for a cup of chai, it was totally NOT worth it!

* * * * *

we did NOT crack open the bags of 1-year-old halloween candy to see if they still tasted good. they were NOT still delicious. i did NOT double check their goodness. and we did NOT pass them out (along with our new candy) to the 100+ trick-or-treaters that came by. i do NOT think we should go buy some more clearance candy this week to save for next year...

ahem.

* * * * *

this morning i did NOT realize that i still have a love for sesame street. i did NOT pause my computer work to watch bert and ernie's great adventures...

* * * * *

as i'm sitting here on my laptop, ryan did NOT just bring me the broom and the stick vacuum. i am NOT gonna take a hint, get off the computer, and clean the house. well, maybe i'll clean after i go shopping...

happy monday everyone!!

not me! monday

last monday i did NOT spend the whole day cleaning for family that was going to come for a visit, only to take a break to go to the grocery store. i did NOT end up coming home with 23 bags of groceries!! and in the 3.5 days that my family visited, we only ate here twice. uh huh... i do NOT have a lot of food in my house!

this past week i did NOT have a blast with my parents and my three nieces (9, 7, & 4 years old) who came for a visit. we had only a couple mishaps while they were here... it was very warm the second night they were here, so i did NOT decide to prop the front door open to cool off the house. we got the girls to bed, dealt with some homesickness, and then got the girls settled in bed again. we were sitting around chatting when i did NOT hear screaming from their room. i bolted upstairs and as i was running down the hall a black cat did NOT come running out of their room and out the front door!!! nope, a stray cat did NOT come in our open front door, go up to the kid's room, and scare the panties off 3 almost asleep overly tired little girls. needless to say, the door stayed closed from then on...

while my family was here ryan slept in our room with us. so he would NOT wake up when ben got up for work. since then his sleep habits have been way off. instead of getting up at 9-9:30, this morning he did NOT wake up before 8am. i am NOT dreading the time change this saturday and having him wake up before 7AM!!! (here is your friendly reminder... daylight savings time ends on sunday, november 1st. don't forget to set your clocks back one our this coming saturday night!)

i have NOT forgotten to give ryan his medicine about 4 nights this week. ugh. i will NOT have to start writing notes as a reminder. and speaking of ry, his neurologist did NOT fail to call me this past week, or the week before with the results from his EEG. and because i don't enjoy calling them and leaving a message for them to call me back, i did NOT decide that i'm just going to wait until his appointment this week to find out the results. besides, dr. h has an accent and i'm NOT afraid that i won't understand her over the phone! so for those of you who have been waiting for results, i will NOT get them at his neuro appointment on friday!

on saturday night we (yes. the whole family. ben included.) did NOT go to joann fabrics to get a couple things. (we were NOT there until closing time!) after we finally left the store, walked to our car, and unloaded our purchases i did NOT decide that i would give the cart a shove toward the store and let it roll there so i didn't have to push it back. well maybe it was the slight breeze, or maybe it was the downward slope of the parking lot, but the cart started going straight towards the store and then did NOT veer way to the left (right in the picture) and was headed right for one of the 5 cars in the parking lot. ben did NOT see what was happening and did NOT sprint over to the cart just to grab it right before it plowed into the side of the lady's car. the lady that was NOT just walking out of the store... i was NOT laughing my head off at what happened, and i'm sure the people that were sitting in their idling car did NOT get a good laugh either! and no, i did NOT draw a picture again just to better explain it...!

happy monday y'all. go visit mckmama for some more not me! monday fun!

not me! monday

monday monday! it seems that i have done 400 loads of laundry this week. so now it's time to air the [not so] dirty laundry...



on saturday, ryan did NOT somehow change the snooze on my radio alarm clock from 10 minutes to 1 minute. so yesterday morning when the alarm went off and the radio came on, i hit snooze and rolled over. and then it came on again playing the same song. i hit snooze. and again, the alarm went off still playing the same song. in my tired state of mind i did NOT wonder why in the world the radio station kept playing the same song over and over again, and then did NOT feel stupid when i realized what had happened. i did NOT then turn off my alarm clock and go back to sleep!

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remember that 47+ pounds of candy that we ben bought last november? well we do NOT still have about 4 unopened bags of it. and ben certainly did NOT suggest passing it out to the trick-or-treaters this halloween. after i vetoed that idea, i did NOT consider opening a couple of the packages to see if it tasted okay to hand out to the kids...

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i have NOT been busy cleaning my house for the arrival of my parents and my three nieces later today. samantha has NOT been begging me to have the house clean so that she can impress them. i may NOT take a video of my clean house as proof. because this (a clean house) does NOT happen only about 2 times a year!

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remember how i checked the mail in vain last monday? well my mail lady did NOT do the same thing! i did NOT laugh (and feel so much better) when she told me that last tuesday!

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samantha has NOT started writing in a notebook-turned-diary recently, and last night she did NOT tell me i could look at it. she does NOT have the pages numbered like she's having a spelling test at school. and this is what i did NOT read:

1. I;m fablus. [yes, she used a semicolon instead of an apostrophe. and don't you love how she spelled fabulous?!]

2. God loves me.

3. I love you.

4. I have a boyfrend.

i did NOT gasp when i read #4. it is NOT our neighbor boy! and she has NOT told him that she loves him already.... we are NOT in trouble!!!

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i did NOT cook a real dinner for my husband 3 times this week.

'nuf said.

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happy not me! monday!!

not me! monday

thanks to mckmama, there is now a reason to love and look forward to mondays! hop on over to her blog to join in on the not me! monday fun!!

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sooo.... now that we all know the difference between pt and ot, i have to get this off my chest: when ryan's pediatrician told me that he needed physical and occupational therapy, i did NOT immediately think to myself, but he's not even remotely close to being old enough to have a job... nope, i am NOT that blonde!

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while cleaning out the closet the other day, i did NOT find my bridesmaid dress from my sister's wedding 11 years ago. i did NOT proceed to try it on.... and it did NOT fit!!!! (ok, granted it was a slight bit more form-fitting than it was when i was 16, but it zipped all the way up. and i could breathe!!!) i was NOT so excited that i did NOT wear the dress for about 40 minutes while i called my sister to tell her.

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during one of my coughing fits this week (due to this wonderful head cold) i did NOT cough up a big gob of phlegm and it did NOT go flying out of my mouth and land on my arm.... ummm, no. that really couldn't have happened because i always cough with a tissue. well, at least i do NOW!

the same thing did NOT happen to samantha. and she did NOT come and show me the glob of mucous in her hand...

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since i now have a somewhat clean pantry, there is absolutely no way that i bought another jar of peanut butter at target last night. it was NOT on sale and i did NOT have a coupon. so of course i was NOT obligated to snatch up a good deal. and on top of that, we most certainly did NOT buy 3 more boxes of cereal...

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happy monday y'all!

not me! monday

so if you've read my blog lately, then you already know what's been happening around here this past week. i was a little too stressed to have many not me! moments that were blog-worthy, so today we're gonna take a walk down memory lane... today i'm NOT gonna admit to some pretty stupid, embarassing, and unknown facts from my childhood days. enjoy...

when i was probably six, i was NOT way more naive than samantha is for her age. i didn't know what any "bad" words were, and even if i did, there's no way i would ever say them in front of my parents. well one night my mom's friend FROM CHURCH came over and we were going to show her our baby chickens. (yes, my family used to raise chickens.) none of them would come out from under their box, so i did NOT decide to call them the A-word. in front of my mom. and her friend. thank God that my dad wasn't there! when my mom asked me what i said i did NOT stammer and say "uh, i called them axes..." this is NOT one of my favorite memories of getting in trouble. probably because my mom was so shocked, and also because she doesn't remember it!

one morning before school, as i had just about gotten my bangs to poof just right, i did NOT decide to curl them one more time before heading out the door. i grabbed the curling iron and stuck it in my hair right next to my scalp. i was NOT horrified when i took it out and my bangs were standing straight up. i did NOT look like cameron diaz in there's something about mary. and my bangs did NOT have a bright red substance in them. after freaking out, i did NOT discover that my curling iron had been resting up against my red candle. it did NOT melt the wax all over my curling iron, and then it did NOT harden in my hair. i did NOT try to brush it out—youch!—and pick out as many pieces that i could on the way to school. i did NOT walk around all day with little pieces of wax in my hair, making me look like i had bad dandruff. and i did NOT throw away that evil candle when i got home.

i have always had a small, weak?, overactive bad bladder. call it what you like, but i've always been the one who has to use the restroom ALL.THE.TIME. so when i was about 13 years old, the thought did NOT cross my mind i wonder if one of those huge, uncomfortable, ginormously thick maxi pads would work if i had an i-need-to-go-NOW emergency??... my curiosity did NOT get the better of me and i did NOT experiment one day—thankfully in the confines of my bathroom and not out in public. because it did NOT fail to work as i hoped!!!

what have you NOT done this week? or last month? or 20 years ago?!

not me! monday

good morning and welcome to not me! monday!! hop on over to mckmama's blog for some more hillarious not me! monday confessions (but right after you read mine, of course!)


i did NOT blog about treating our house for fleas, and then blog a few days later about how i don't clean my house. i did NOT realize that this would make us sound like sloppy, messy, white trashy people. and while i can assure you that we're not, i will admit that we're simply NOT a little disorganized! (and our house doesn't look that bad anymore...!)'

samantha did NOT finally start school last tuesday only to have wednesday off because her friend came over. we are only a few weeks behind now and i did NOT just order the rest of her curriculum on saturday...!

while ben and samantha were gone all day saturday, i did NOT decide to go to target with ryan. and when we were walking towards the entrance ryan did NOT start saying "scary, scary." (all because we went to target a couple weeks ago and ryan bawled his head off because he was terrified when we walked past the halloween aisles.) after we made it through the store with only a few tears and $50 spent, i did NOT decide to go to another target for a repeat performance. hello, my name is erin, and i am NOT addicted to target!

i did NOT take a pregnancy test last monday after thinking that there was a slight huge possibility i might be pregnant. it was NOT negative. (although really, it was negative!) and as the week went on and on i did NOT get more and more nervous that the test was wrong. i did NOT resolve that i would take yet another test this morning, until finally last night my aunt flo did NOT show up eight days late! i did NOT breathe a sigh of relief and silently say thank you Jesus! because even though we do NOT want to have more kids, we're not quite ready to pursue that venture right now—sorry auntie di and gramma! (oh, and sorry dad if that was a little too much information!!)

on friday, i did NOT whack my head on the washing machine whilst bending over to pick up ryan. it still does NOT hurt. yesterday ben did NOT throw out his neck while he was clearing his throat. and this morning, i did NOT wake up to a thud when samantha fell off of her ladder. i am NOT wondering when and how ryan will hurt himself. might as well make this a family affair, right?!


happy monday, y'all. have a blessed day!

not me! monday

this week...

i did NOT almost put my foot in my mouth at ryan's mri appointment when i almost told one of the doctors that nurses are better than doctors!!

and speaking of his mri, i did NOT forget all about it this weekend and totally forget to call today to find out the results until ben phoned me to see if i heard anything! i am now NOT waiting patiently for dr. h to call me with the results.

we did NOT have a bug scare this weekend and have NOT taken precautionary measures and treated our cars and our house for, ahem, fleas... (that our car picked up somewhere else). my washing machine has NOT been running non-stop and my carpets have NOT ever been vacuumed this many times in one weekend!

because of the flea scare, we did NOT decide to royally clean out ben's work car. we did NOT fill over six garbage bags of trash and ben did NOT find something that he got from a job over a year ago!!

yesterday we were minus samantha, so we decided to try out a new to us hole-in-the-wall mexican restaurant. i did NOT have fajitas for the first time ever. (go ahead and judge, people.) they were NOT incredibly YUMM-Y! (why hasn't anyone ever told me how good they are?!) and we did NOT have the cutest little waiter. he did NOT remind me of a latino elmer fudd!

i cleaned out my pantry today (yea me!) and did NOT find a few items that were over 3 years expired. and i also did NOT find a sinful amount of cereal. and jello. any guesses as to how many boxes?!

you can find more not me! fun at mckmama's blog. happy monday!

not me! monday

happy not me! monday!! while my last post gave you a quick run-down of last week, here's a look at what did NOT happen!



on wednesday evening samantha and our 6-year-old neighbor boy were outside playing together, when all of a sudden samantha ran inside and did NOT say "MOM!!! MAURICIO JUST WENT POTTY ON OUR STEPS!!!" i figured he wet his pants, but when i went outside he already ran into his house. so i got the story from samantha...

this summer we've had slugs on our sidewalk and steps at night, and apparently mauricio thought he'd try to kill a couple. with urine. so he did NOT drop his pants in front of samantha and pee all over our steps. she told him not to do it, and she wanted to come inside but it was too late. so she did NOT cover her eyes so she wouldn't see anything! good girl!

and it was NOT my daughter who didn't give into peer pressure when he said "don't tell your mom! don't tell your mom!" according to samantha, she did NOT have the strength to tell me!

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one morning while eating my breakfast of lucky charms, i did NOT decide to multi task and read my email at the same time on my brand new 3-week-old laptop. i did NOT think of all the things that could go wrong with holding a bowl full of cereal over a new laptop, so i made sure to be extra careful.

and then my cell phone rang.

in my haste to get up, i did NOT quickly close my laptop, which somehow hit the spoon in my bowl, and did NOT send milk and lucky charms flying... all over ME!

note: no laptops were harmed in the making of this post!

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remember the coupon party i went to? well, i decided to make lemon bars to bring. and since i'm such an expert in the kitchen, i decided to use the betty crocker mix that i just happened to have. i read the directions: press the ready made crust in the bottom of pan... pour filling on top and bake for 25 minutes. easy peasy. i mixed the filling, poured it on top, and stuck it in the oven.

while i was cleaning up the counter, i did NOT glance at the back of the box. *gulp* i did NOT fail to read the directions entirely. press the ready made crust in the bottom of pan... bake for 10 minutes... pour filling on top and bake for 25 minutes. i did NOT think that since the crust was ready made i wouldn't have to do anything else with it, like bake it!!

in the end the lemon bars did NOT turn out okay, with just a bit of a crumbly crust, and they did NOT still taste good!

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last night after the kids were in bed, we did NOT have a runaway fish. ben was going to put samantha's new fish, swimmy, into the fish tank. and before adding her to the tank he had her in a small temporary container on top of the tank. about a half hour later, when he was ready to introduce swimmy to her new home, he did NOT say "OH NO.... WHERE IS SHE?"

we did NOT search all around on the floor until finally we found her. she had NOT jumped out of the container, flopped across the top of the tank, and fallen 4 feet to the very dusty carpet behind the fish tank. we thought for sure she was a gonner. and then she flopped! ben did NOT scoop her up, dust and all, and stick her in the fish tank. there are NOT dust bunnies floating around in the water...!

and swimmy is thankfully NOT still swimming today!!

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last week while cleaning out the kids' closet, i did NOT find about 10 princess pull-ups that never got used when samantha was potty training.

ryan is NOT potty training right now.

i'm sure y'all are smart enough to put two and two together, right?

yes, my little man is NOT sporting a cinderella pull-up today. goodness, after this incident ryan is going to be scarred for life!

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happy monday!