i felt like a 1950's houswife.

today i got a visit from someone i figured was long extinct. there was an unexpected knock at the door, and when i answered it, there standing in front of me was a door-to-door salesman selling household cleaner. i never knew door-to-door salesmen still existed. i had only ever seen them in old episodes of classic tv shows like i love lucy and such.

so for a minute i felt like june cleaver. until i looked down and realized i wasn't wearing a dress and high-heeled shoes. and then i glanced back at my unkempt children and my messy house and i swiftly came back to reality!

our conversation was quite interesting, as i'm not usually very good at dismissing an unsolicited sales pitch. that, and if you've ever seen my house, you know that i'm not really in the market for cleaning supplies. so i thought i'd share our banter...

me: "hello?"

man: "hello ma'am, how are you? my name is james and i'm with the blah blah blah company."

me: "hi james, how are you today?"

james**: "fine thanks."
**names have not been changed to protect the innocent.

and then the conversation turned to the little spray bottle he was holding. he mentioned that this cleaner was non-toxic, didn't have harmful chemicals, and was great for people who are going green. *gag me*

james: "so what is your hardest cleaning job that you have here at home?"

me: "um.... i don't really do a whole lot of cleaning..."

james: "now you have kids right? because i know your feet aren't that small!" *he said as he glanced at samantha's shoes that were sitting on the front steps.*

me: "yes."

james: "have you ever gotten marker get on your carpet?" *he digs out his white rag and sharpie and scribbles black magic marker all over it.* "have you ever seen anything get out magic marker?"

me: "yep!"

james: "really? what?"

me: "alcohol."

james: "you're supposed to drink that! but really? alcohol? like rubbing alcohol?"

me: "yep."

james: "well have you ever seen it come out this fast?" *as he sprays his product on the marker and rubs it out. then he went on to another question:* "so who does the cleaning here at your home? you? your husband?"

me: "um.... well, none of us, really!"

james: "well what about cleaning your car? this stuff takes bugs off the front of your car just great!" *points to our car about 15 feet away.* "do you see all those bugs on the front of your car?"

me: "no."

james: *goes over to our vehicle, sprays his cleaner on the front fender and starts scrubbing.* "did you know that if you leave bugs on your car too long there's an acid in them that starts eating the paint chips?"

me: "no." *thinking to myself, good—then it will match the chunk of paint that has been scratched off for 3 years...*

james: "well, your husband probably knows that." *moves over to the tire and starts cleaning the hubcaps.* "this also cleans brake dust off of your hubcaps and protects them for 4-6 weeks."

me: *laughing* "sorry, we don't get that detailed!"

james: "well this also gets off fingerprints and scratches under your door handle."

me: *?! does this man really not realize that i don't clean? let alone UNDER the car door handles?*

james: "i work with the company out in california. where are you from?"

me: *?! that's random. wouldn't he assume i'm from...* "here..."

james: "do you have any spots in your car on your upholstery that have been hard to get out?"

me: "sure, try this one."

james: "is that a stain from a beverage?

me: "no, i think it's just mud from the winter."

james: *cleans the spot on the floor and shows me all the dirt. then proceeds to spray my seat and clean it. wipes it up and shows me the rag that hardly has any dirt on it!* "well, the cleaner comes in a bottle and it is sealed. it's a concentrate and it will last you for about a year and a half."

me: *a year and a half? try about 6 years for me then!* "well i don't think i'll buy any right now, but can you leave me with any information?"

james: "all i have to leave you with is the bottle. a quart is only $48. and next time you order you'll call the 800 number and you'll get ten dollars off and free shipping."

me: "sorry, i can't spend $48 today without talking with my husband. and we just got new tires on yesterday so that cost quite a bit of money. if we want some in the future i'll just look you up online."

james: "well you won't get the $10 off or free shipping."

me: "that's okay, thank you!"

james: "it will also get rust spots off of your railing up by your door."

me: *walking up to the house, um... we don't have rust spots on our railing..!* "thank you for stopping by..."

me: *walked inside, googled the product, read the reviews and found out that it really isn't that great of a cleaning product!*


so now, friends, i want to hear your stories—have you ever had an experience with a door-to-door salesman? have you ever bought $48 cleaner only to realize that the off brand dollar store stuff works better? do you clean your hubcaps?!