hickory dickory dock

the scene: me, on the phone casually chatting with my sister in law.

the location: my living room, sitting in my chair next to the bookshelf.

the time: 3 o'clock this afternoon, before ben got home from work.

and.... ACTION!


*chat chat chat, blah blah blah...*

me: can you hang on for a sec?

SIL: sure

*i'm quite, listening intently to hear another scratch scratch scratch. i hear it*

me: that's weird... the other day ben heard scratching behind my chair, so he looked to see if it was a mouse but didn't find anything. but now i'm hearing scratching and like a chewing sound. but it sounds like it's coming from underneath the bookshelf (which sits about 2-3 inches off the floor). i knocked on the side of the bookshelf but i still hear it.

SIL: maybe it's something outside.

me: no, it would be 3 feet underground where it's scratching.

SIL: maybe it's in the wall.

me: no, how could it get in? the outside is brick...

SIL: go get a flashlight and look under there and see if there's anything.

me: NO WAY!! what if i SEE something?!

SIL: well then go get some traps and set them under there. i'll stay on the phone with you and when you're done you can get some ice cream.

me: ok....

*getting the traps out. 2 glue, 2 snap traps. i smother them with peanut butter...*

me: hey, i'm sorry in advance if i cuss if these traps accidentally snap and freak me out.

SIL: wow! you cuss?

me, laughing: NO!!

*i carefully set them, then go scope out the bookshelf. not wanting to the mouse escape, i decide to blockade the entire perimeter of the bottom of the bookshelf (except for one side) with books. i set a glue trap on one end, another at the front of the bookshelf, and then go to set the snap trap in there. i gently put it down on the floor, slowly start sliding it under the bookshelf when this thought occurs to me: what if the mouse smells the peanut butter on the trap and comes get it while i'm sliding the trap under there?! i decided to run it past sis.*

me: hey, what if the mouse smells the peanut butter and comes and gets it while i'm...

*SNAP!!!*

me: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!

SIL, laughing: what? did it snap? i don't think i've EVER heard you scream like that!!

*trying to catch my breath and stick my heart back in my chest.*

me: YES IT SNAPPED!!! OH MY GOODNESS THAT FREAKIN SCARED ME!!!!!!

SIL, still laughing: go get a flashlight and see if you caught it.

me: NO WAY!!! ben can do that when he gets home. there's NO WAY i'm gonna look.... oh my goodness—what if it would've smelled the peanut butter on my HAND when i put the glue traps under there and it came and got ME?!?!!!

*i blockade the rest of the bookshelf so that nothing can get out, finish my conversation, totally avoid that area of the living room, and call ben to tell him the story (meanwhile freaking out all over again) and tell him that HE has to look when he gets home.*

ben comes home and pulls my chair out from the wall so he can get a good look, and sure enough, scratch scratch scratch. i start to freak out thinking there's a whole family under there, when ben says, "it's in the wall."

me: what?! how could it get in the wall? and what did i catch?!

ben: did you put the trap under there really carefully?

me: YES! oh...unless it caught on one of the wires.

*ben pulls back the books, shines the flashlight on the trap all to discover that i caught....

...NOTHING!!

all that freaking out, screaming, elevated blood pressure, shortness of breath, and practically peeing my pants for nothing.*

well, one good thing, at least we don't have a mouse in the house!

deep thoughts

if public restrooms have toilets with automatic flushers, automatic faucets and soap dispensers, and hands-free dryers or paper towel dispensers,

then why oh why don't they have automatic doors? all those automated hands-free contraptions are a complete waste if you have to contaminate* your hands by opening up the door, right?!

*i am in no way a germaphobe. i really don't care if i have to flush with my hand, turn on a faucet, or open the door. i just don't get the purpose of  automatic everything if you have to open the door. 

what are your deep thoughts today?

wordless wednesday

father's day fun!

flippin' funny

flip.

i love my flip. if it weren't for this tiny, convenient camera, i would probably have no video of my adorable kids. and their silly, yet cute father. i think the thing i love the most about it, is that i've been able to capture footage that would otherwise be lost, had i been required to drag out the actual gigantic* video camera, turn it on just to realize that there's no tape left and only 3 minutes of battery remaining.

[*gigantic shmigantic. remember the days of the monstrous camcorders that you'd have to lug around on your shoulder and look through the little eye piece?? yeah, i thought i was so cool videoing with that.]

anyway, i've caught a few humorous things on video. and i think it's only appropriate that i debut my husband first. (sound is kinda low. turn up your speakers!)




did you catch that last one? he can play songs on his mouth. (he can actually play songs on his teeth, too.) and here to prove it—playing the chicken dance song—my talented husband, ben.




what are your hidden talents? (my talent will be keeping my husband from killing me after he realizes that i posted this...!)

wordless wednesday — target style

wordless wednesday — silly style

oh sweet memory...!

not me! monday

oh boy. where do i begin? there are just too many things that have NOT happened since my last not me! monday post. but today, i'll keep it short and sweet. er, uhhh, well just read...

last week, after the kids were in bed asleep and ben and i were about to get our nightly netflix fix (say that 5 times fast), i did NOT go to the freezer to get my nightly serving and a half of ice cream. i did NOT easily open the freezer door to a winter wonderland of snow and frost covering everthing in my packed freezer. yes... that's right—the night before when i put the ice cream away? i didn't shut the door all the way...

upon realizing this i did NOT slam the door shut, thinking that it would somehow reverse the problem, i guess. but then i decided to deal with it then and there. i started loading garbage bags with thawing frozen food and salvaging what i could. ben did NOT take over 6 bags of freezer food to the trash. and i was NOT sulking—not because we were throwing hundreds of dollars of food away, but because the ice cream was soupy and now i wouldn't be able to have any.

i started cleaning some of the ice out of the freezer (it really needed to be defrosted, too, so i guess this wasn't all bad), thinking that ben was out at the dumpster for a very long time... when finally he came back inside holding one of our [nine] quarts of soupy ice cream. he did NOT say, "hey, i was digging through the trash and this one isn't too bad. you could have some of it..." i was NOT thinking eww, gross, disgusting, but felt it anyway and it was frozen solid! i was still repelled by the thought of eating it though, thinking it had already been in the trash, when ben told me he did NOT go to the grocery store really quick to buy it for me! awwwww...... ♥

then my moment of you're so sweet got inturrupted. i looked at him, my eyes grew wide, and i did NOT say, "YOU DID NOT JUST GO TO THE STORE IN YOUR JAMMIE PANTS!!!" oh goodness. i'm sure that someday we will NOT end up on peopleofwalmart.com.

ahem.

so that was that. we enjoyed our cookie dough ice cream, netflix, went to bed, and all was well. until i woke up the next morning. the bag of frozen bread dough that i had set on the counter had NOT risen all night, exploded through the bag, and made a huge doughy mess. well thank goodness i threw it in the garbage before i went to bed—the mess was contained in the trash can! but it was quite funny to see a huge glob of dough bursting through its bag. i did NOT punch it down about 3 times before ben came home and took out that trash bag...!

and now fast forward to today. i was able to save a roast. so i decided it needed to be cooked today. i got it in the oven, left the styrofoam tray on the STOVE, and started making the kids' lunch.

yeah yeah... you're probably thinking the same thing my sister thought, ERIN! you did NOT turn the burner on did you?! no, people i am NOT that stupid (really, i am...). but my lovely daughter, smart as she is, did NOT think the bloody meat juice in the bottom of the tray was "vanilla that we use in cakes," and did NOT decide to dip her finger in for a lick. well, at least she has a little smarts—she told me she wiped her finger on the towel "because the vanilla was cold," and then licked it.

see? this is why i should NOT be entirely banned from the kitchen!

visit mckmama for more not me fun! me? i'm off to eat some roast!

all i want for Christmas is my two teeth pulled

alternately titled get ready for excessive parenthesis and italics!

about a month ago i posted that i broke my tooth and had super glued it back into place.

big mistake. nope, not super gluing my tooth, blogging about it and facing y'all's (pronounced yuh-allziz) lectures about how super glue is toxic and bad for me.

well i totally appreciate your concern, but i went against all advice and kept right on super gluing my tooth! you see, this is something that i HAD to do. (stay with me here, i'll get to my point sooner or later.) almost 3 years ago i had a root canal on my molar. i didn't get a crown at the time, since i didn't have insurance or the $600 to pay for it. about a year after i had this done, a quarter of my tooth chipped off (that's the black part in the picture—yes, i made a visual aid!). and then, four weeks ago, i felt my tooth crack as i was eating. after surveying the damage, the whole side of my tooth cracked all the way down below my gums (the black line in the picture).

the whole cracked part would pull away from my filling, but wouldn't come out. (not that i wanted to pull it out—ouch!) so when i'd eat and bite down, if the cracked part of my tooth was in any way out of place, it would hurt and my gums underneath the tooth would get swollen. so i've been pulling the cracked part out from the rest of the tooth with my handy dentist pic (and with my headlight on, of course), squirt super glue down in the crevice, and temporarily attach my tooth to the filling.

this past monday i was finally going to go get my tooth pulled. but after x-raying my tooth, the dentist said he wouldn't be able to pull it because it was cracked below the gumline. so i get to have it surgically removed. yipee. (sarcasm totally intended.) and guess what? my wisdom tooth* is growing in sideways(totally horizontal), pushing against my back molar. wisdom schmisdom. so i'll have to have that surgically removed also so that it doesn't damage my other molar.

*that's right. my wisdom teeth still haven't come in yet. i'll save you all the that's why she's so dumb jokes and say this: yes, that's probably why i'm not smart enough to stop toxifying my body with super glue.

so how does this all play into Christmas? (yes, i'm finally getting to my point.) well, i'm having my oral surgery on wednesday, december 23rd.

yes, you heard me right. two days before Christmas i'm having my teeth cut out! there goes our perfect Christmas... i have memories of my sisters laying on the couch, not being able to eat anything, and basically being zombie-ish after they had their wisdom teeth removed. so now i have visions of me being the same way. ben will probably have to fix peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for Christmas lunch, i'll be on the couch drooling, and in a moment of consciousness, i'll wish my family a meh-ee chis-us.

ok, really i think i'll be fine. i'm (hopefully) gonna have our dinners pre-made and all our other Christmas preparations done ahead of time. so i'm thinking Christmas movies for two days straight! and the one good thing about this? maybe i won't eat as many Christmas cookies and candy this year!

oh who am i kidding? i'll just load up on ice cream instead!

and, in the spirit of still being able to pronounce my R's, Merry (early) Christmas!

wordless wednesday

monkey see, monkey do.

contraptionization

i have made an ingenious a redneck contraption.

and this is it.



allow me to backtrack. i was washing clothes one night. mounds and mounds of laundry. the washer had worked fine the whole day, until that night. i went to put a load into the dryer and opened up the washer lid to find my washing machine filled with water and my clothes unspun. my washer had quit in the middle of the cycle and wouldn't spin. you know the switch (when you close the lid) that has to be down when it's in the spin cycle? come on, admit it. we've all stuck a pencil or something in the switch so that we could watch the clothes spin.

what? that was just me?? uhh...

anyway, well the switch broke and wouldn't spin a few months ago and then before ben got a chance to fix it, it started working again. when it first broke i could stick a pen or a toothbrush in the tiny little hole to trigger the switch and then take it out. and then that night it finally bit the dust. almost.

until my contraptionization instincts took over. i stuck the toothbrush in the hole and maneuvered it around until the washer started.

now how am i going to make the toothbrush stay at this angle?



ah hah!! the vinegar bottle! i'll just prop that up against the toothbrush...



but then how will i get the vinegar to stay? maybe if i lean it up against the lid. erg! the switch depressor on the lid is in the way and now there's a little gap so it won't stay...



hmmm... let's see if ben's paint bucket can prop the lid open. ugh! the bucket is sliding because it's too light. oh! i got it! i'll use the other paint bucket full of dirty brushes to keep the lid-propping-bucket in place.



voile! perfect!




hey, whatever it takes to be able to cook and clean read blogs or play online games instead of standing there for the entire cycle holding a toothbrush at just the right angle...

have you ever contraptionized?!

not me! monday

last monday i did NOT spend the whole day cleaning for family that was going to come for a visit, only to take a break to go to the grocery store. i did NOT end up coming home with 23 bags of groceries!! and in the 3.5 days that my family visited, we only ate here twice. uh huh... i do NOT have a lot of food in my house!

this past week i did NOT have a blast with my parents and my three nieces (9, 7, & 4 years old) who came for a visit. we had only a couple mishaps while they were here... it was very warm the second night they were here, so i did NOT decide to prop the front door open to cool off the house. we got the girls to bed, dealt with some homesickness, and then got the girls settled in bed again. we were sitting around chatting when i did NOT hear screaming from their room. i bolted upstairs and as i was running down the hall a black cat did NOT come running out of their room and out the front door!!! nope, a stray cat did NOT come in our open front door, go up to the kid's room, and scare the panties off 3 almost asleep overly tired little girls. needless to say, the door stayed closed from then on...

while my family was here ryan slept in our room with us. so he would NOT wake up when ben got up for work. since then his sleep habits have been way off. instead of getting up at 9-9:30, this morning he did NOT wake up before 8am. i am NOT dreading the time change this saturday and having him wake up before 7AM!!! (here is your friendly reminder... daylight savings time ends on sunday, november 1st. don't forget to set your clocks back one our this coming saturday night!)

i have NOT forgotten to give ryan his medicine about 4 nights this week. ugh. i will NOT have to start writing notes as a reminder. and speaking of ry, his neurologist did NOT fail to call me this past week, or the week before with the results from his EEG. and because i don't enjoy calling them and leaving a message for them to call me back, i did NOT decide that i'm just going to wait until his appointment this week to find out the results. besides, dr. h has an accent and i'm NOT afraid that i won't understand her over the phone! so for those of you who have been waiting for results, i will NOT get them at his neuro appointment on friday!

on saturday night we (yes. the whole family. ben included.) did NOT go to joann fabrics to get a couple things. (we were NOT there until closing time!) after we finally left the store, walked to our car, and unloaded our purchases i did NOT decide that i would give the cart a shove toward the store and let it roll there so i didn't have to push it back. well maybe it was the slight breeze, or maybe it was the downward slope of the parking lot, but the cart started going straight towards the store and then did NOT veer way to the left (right in the picture) and was headed right for one of the 5 cars in the parking lot. ben did NOT see what was happening and did NOT sprint over to the cart just to grab it right before it plowed into the side of the lady's car. the lady that was NOT just walking out of the store... i was NOT laughing my head off at what happened, and i'm sure the people that were sitting in their idling car did NOT get a good laugh either! and no, i did NOT draw a picture again just to better explain it...!

happy monday y'all. go visit mckmama for some more not me! monday fun!

wordless wednesday

wordless wednesday — "hide-n-seek" style

puh-lease tell me!!!

why is it totally okay and acceptable for a husband to pass gas in front of his wife?!

but when the reverse happens and wifey is a little flatulent, it is gross, nasty, and absolutely disgusting?


there is definitely something wrong here!

musings from the pantry

i don't know how this happens or if i'm the only victim, but somehow my pantry has a way of devouring my groceries and hiding them in every crook and cranny until it's bursting at the seams and demands my attention.

so i cleaned it out the other day. and had this lovely conversation with myself while organizing...

* * *

why in the world do i have five jars of peanut butter in here? and why are three of them opened?! man, sara would be proud of me.


eww... best by april of 2006?! *trash*


chick peas. why the heck did i buy a can of chick peas?!


oh yipee—the mouse hole is still successfully patched up! gee, i hope we don't get another mouse this winter. *knock on wood*


jello anyone? you'd think i was my mom or something! i don't ever make jello so why do i have 31 boxes of jello?!


oh my goodness!!!! i almost bought three packages of jello the other day because i had a coupon...


blech! cheez its. (go ahead and judge my disliking of those cheese flavored crackers...)


oooohh! ketchup! we're almost out of ketchup!.... and jelly? why are they right next to each other? then again, why not?!


mmmmm.... ramen noodles. i bet those don't ever expire.... oh! they do expire! man, you can learn something new every day!


man, that was a great sale special k, fiber one, and pop tart sale at target. which reminds me, i still need to blog about couponing.


wow i have a lot of random thoughts. i should grab a pen and paper and write them down so that i can blog them.


note to self: don't buy special k or fiber one bars for about 3 years. or pop tarts.


i wonder how long the orderliness of this pantry is gonna last?


oh! iced animal crackers!


27 boxes of cereal in the pantry.... 27 boxes of cereal.... take one down. throw it away. 26 boxes of cereal in the pantry....


well it's good to know we won't be dying of starvation anytime soon.


note to self: don't buy anymore cereal either. or jello...


wow! i got rid of a lot stuff!! i better throw it all in the dumpster before ben gets home otherwise we'll probably end up keeping half of it!


dang, i wish i would've taken a before picture, cuz this looks WAY better now!

* * *

and now, more cleaning. tune in next week for musings from the bathroom.*

*totally kidding!

not me! monday

so if you've read my blog lately, then you already know what's been happening around here this past week. i was a little too stressed to have many not me! moments that were blog-worthy, so today we're gonna take a walk down memory lane... today i'm NOT gonna admit to some pretty stupid, embarassing, and unknown facts from my childhood days. enjoy...

when i was probably six, i was NOT way more naive than samantha is for her age. i didn't know what any "bad" words were, and even if i did, there's no way i would ever say them in front of my parents. well one night my mom's friend FROM CHURCH came over and we were going to show her our baby chickens. (yes, my family used to raise chickens.) none of them would come out from under their box, so i did NOT decide to call them the A-word. in front of my mom. and her friend. thank God that my dad wasn't there! when my mom asked me what i said i did NOT stammer and say "uh, i called them axes..." this is NOT one of my favorite memories of getting in trouble. probably because my mom was so shocked, and also because she doesn't remember it!

one morning before school, as i had just about gotten my bangs to poof just right, i did NOT decide to curl them one more time before heading out the door. i grabbed the curling iron and stuck it in my hair right next to my scalp. i was NOT horrified when i took it out and my bangs were standing straight up. i did NOT look like cameron diaz in there's something about mary. and my bangs did NOT have a bright red substance in them. after freaking out, i did NOT discover that my curling iron had been resting up against my red candle. it did NOT melt the wax all over my curling iron, and then it did NOT harden in my hair. i did NOT try to brush it out—youch!—and pick out as many pieces that i could on the way to school. i did NOT walk around all day with little pieces of wax in my hair, making me look like i had bad dandruff. and i did NOT throw away that evil candle when i got home.

i have always had a small, weak?, overactive bad bladder. call it what you like, but i've always been the one who has to use the restroom ALL.THE.TIME. so when i was about 13 years old, the thought did NOT cross my mind i wonder if one of those huge, uncomfortable, ginormously thick maxi pads would work if i had an i-need-to-go-NOW emergency??... my curiosity did NOT get the better of me and i did NOT experiment one day—thankfully in the confines of my bathroom and not out in public. because it did NOT fail to work as i hoped!!!

what have you NOT done this week? or last month? or 20 years ago?!

gag me

today i took a shower.

*pause for applause*

yes, i'm quite proud of myself too, seeing as that didn't happen for me yesterday...

ahem.

anyway, towards the end of my shower i couldn't help but notice the nice little pool of water i was standing in. drat. the drain probably needs to be declogged from the massive amount of hair that falls out of my head, i thought to myself.

and then the thoughts continued in my head: man that really grosses me out. i can't stand to pulling hair out of drains. it makes me want to throw up. oh i almost did throw up that one time when ben said he had a present for me and he proceeded to show me what looked like a living creature made of hair, soap scum, etc. that he pulled out of the shower drain. that was so mean of him. i hope he'll declog the drain again so that i won't have to. i would probably end up throwing our little plastic drain declogger right in the trash with the gobs of hair. i am NOT gonna touch the gobs of hair...

[side note: this is also my thankful thursday. because i am so thankful that ben will declog the drain for me...]

so as i was standing in the shower thinking about how gross drain hair is (well, hair in general. you know, when it's not on your head where it was made to be.), i got to thinking about all the things that make me gag.

and i knew you all would be dying to know too.

so here's my list of the top ten things that make me want to puke:

10. the thought of eating sushi.

9. the smell of sulfer

8. spoiled milk. apparently not chocolate milk though!

7. slimy food particles in the dishwater.

6. other babies' poopy diapers. (i'm SO glad i don't work in the baby nursery at church!)

5. seeing kids chew on paper.

4. the thought of having my eye poked out.

3. having anything in my mouth for too long. gum, pen, keys, etc. there comes a point where i will start gagging on it. (too bad it didn't work with chocolate. or ice cream...)

2. dryer lint. i couldn't touch the stuff until i had kids! and it still grosses me out to touch it.

1. hair!! hair in drains. hair in food. hair in my mouth (refer to #3.) stray hairs in the shower. globs of hair in dust bunnies. seriously, they all make me gag!


ahh, now i will be able to sleep better knowing that you now know what gags me...

and hey if you like reading lists and/or making lists, stop by sara's blog and check out top ten thursday!

wedding mishaps

my bloggy friend ace is hosting wedding mishaps today. and this comes at a perfect time, seeing as it was our anniversary on monday. what an opportune moment to reminisc about the good & not so good events that took place 7 years ago!

at first i was having a hard time coming up with mishaps. all i could think of was crying bawling in the bathroom at mcdonalds 2 days before the wedding because my mom told me we were going to have lemonade at the reception. lemonade. i was crying my eyes out about LEMONADE!! (remember that mom?!) now i look back and laugh equally as hard about it as i remember crying! and i realize i was maybe a slight bit stressed and a tad bit more PMSy!

but as i went through today, thinking back to that day, a few things came to mind.

morning of the wedding: our reception was going to be outside at a park with a big white tent (without sides) for everyone to sit under (the tent was going to be right next to a pavilion where the food and cake were going to be). so that morning my parents and some other people were getting stuff set up. it was a beautiful day! we prayed away rain for weeks before, but forgot to mention anything to God about the wind. it was a beautiful windy day and stuff was blowing around and off of the tables. my parents had the tent people put a side on the tent, but that didn't help with the pavilion part where all the food was going to be. so my parents went home, dug through their camping gear, and grabbed all the tarps they could find. they went back to the park and somehow secured the tarps to the side of the pavilion. although it didn't look the greatest, in the end it was better than all the food flying around!

right before the ceremony some of the groomsmen were decorating the car. that's not such a bad thing, right? until the spray foam/car paint stuff that my soon to be brother in law was using exploded all over the front of his tuxedo. and it wouldn't come out. i was hid away in my little room (so ben wouldn't see me) and i knew something happened, but no one would tell me what. ben's sister was scrambling around to fix the problem and after the ceremony i found out that she put black mascara on the front of her husband's tux to hide the color. and it worked... we were even able to return the tux without additional fees!

the ceremony went pretty well. no one fainted, it wasn't too hot, and ben didn't cry too much (when we were standing there he had tears in his eyes and i was smiling and kinda laughing at him. ahhh... he was so cute!). but... my pastor forgot ben's last name. so at the end when he announced us he said, "...i now present to you mr. and mrs. ben... *pause*...ben...." everyone started clapping so we didn't have to tell him what to say. but yes, we are mr. and mrs. ben ben.

reception: remember how i said it was a beautiful day? well it was... to us minnesotans! but ben's family came from missouri and illinois and they were FREEZING. i guess we didn't take them into consideration when we planned an outdoor reception. but thankfully walmart and target came to the rescue---they were much warmer with their hoodies on!

i originally planned to write about our honeymoon mishaps... but maybe i'll save that for another day!

so go check out ace's blog to read some more hillarious wedding mishaps! and join in on the fun! even if you're not married, i'm sure everyone has a great wedding story!

me? i'm gonna go have a glass of lemonade...

not me! monday

monday is here! time for not me!



on friday morning i did NOT realize that samantha had a birthday slumber party to go to... that afternoon! i did NOT call the mom and make sure she could still come, quickly pack her bag, and go shopping for a gift. when i dropped her off at her first friend sleepover i was NOT a tiny bit sad that she was growing up!

you know that well known phrase, no shirt, no shoes, no service? well this weekend i did NOT try out the no shoes part. on saturday morning i went to pick up samantha from her friend's house and took my flip flops off at the door. 3 minutes later when we went to leave there was only one flip flop by the door. my friend's dog had taken off with it and chewed it up and slobbered all over it. so instead of driving all the way home to get different flip flops, we did NOT go to target to buy some new ones. i did NOT walk barefoot all the way from the back of the parking lot and all through the store to the shoe section. i did NOT feel like such a dork, and i did NOT feel like i was wearing a huge lit up sign that said hey people, look at my feet--i'm not wearing any shoes! i did NOT quickly find a replica pair of my chewed up flippy flops and proceed straight to the checkout. i told the cashier i didn't need a bag because they were going right on my feet. when she hesitated and asked if i was not wearing shoes i was NOT worried that she wouldn't let me buy them because of the whole no shirt no shoes policy. but thankfully she laughed about my story and completed the transaction! the best part about this? the flip flops were NOT on clearance! ahhhh... i do NOT love target!

being the good mom that i am, i let samantha have chocolate milk for lunch yesterday. i did NOT grab a used cup off of the counter that had a trace of chocolate milk from the day before and poured some milk in. i took a drink of it, and it tasted a bit funny. i figured it was the dirty cup, so then, being the even more good mom that i am, grabbed a clean cup for her and gave her the milk. later, after the kids were in bed, ben went to the fridge to get a drink. he grabbed the chocolate milk jug and ask, "hun, is this milk still good? the expiration date is the 11th..." he did NOT then open the milk and take a big old whiff of spoiled rotten chocolate milk!.... that i did NOT give to samantha earlier.... which is still NOT sitting on the counter to be disposed of.... ugh. next time i'll check the date!

this weekend has NOT been a bad sleeping weekend for ry. on friday he did NOT take a 5 minute nap. and yesterday he did NOT cry/scream for the first 2 hours of his nap, finally fall asleep for 20 minutes, then wake up and cry for another 40 minutes before i finally got him up...

today is NOT our anniversary... every year it seems like i nag and nag ben asking him if he wants to do anything to celebrate. last night i was NOT having a crabby, pms-y attitude (note that this was right after ryan's screaming crying 20 minute nap. i deserved to be crabby, people), and decided that this year i was not going to mention anything about our anniversary. if we did anything, it would have to be ben's doing. so this morning when ben got up for work he did NOT wake me up with a kiss and tell me happy anniversary (yea!). and then he did NOT tell me he was gonna see if his mom could watch the kids tonight so we could go out to dinner or something (bigger yea!)! thank you ben! and happy anniversary hun! and for the record, after a good night's sleep for ryan (and me!) i am NOT in a much better mood this morning!

happy monday everyone! stop by mckmama's blog to join in on the fun!

not me! monday

welcome to not me! monday. this blog carnival was created by mckmama. you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

i have NOT neglected my blog for a week. so in addition to catching up on reading blogs, i also have to catch up on posting.

remember how i do NOT need new clothes? well it was NOT me who went shopping at jcpenney outlet and got a few new articles of clothing, one item being a pair of khakis. i am NOT so cheap frugal that i was on the fence about spending $12.99 on a pair of pants. so when i finally gave in and decided to buy them, i was NOT super excited that they rang up for $2.69!!! (and i was NOT ecstatic that i was able to fit into the pair that was 2 sizes smaller than i used to wear!)

i did NOT have a bad backache one night from 1-4:30 am. so i did NOT lie on the bathroom floor because it was the only thing that somewhat helped. yes, the bathroom floor that had NOT gone uncleaned for 2 weeks... and just to top things off i did NOT grab the used bath towel and proceed to use it as a blanket.

it has NOT gotten incredibly HOT here, so i did NOT finally get samantha's pool out this summer. and one sweltering afternoon, my sister and i did NOT decide to put on our suits and hop in samantha's kiddie pool with her, despite the redneckish feeling we had while sitting in it! it was NOT incredibly relaxing and refreshing. and in the 12 inches of water? well, we did NOT get totally and completely drenched!

yesterday as the heat index approached 101 degrees outside, i was NOT sickened when samantha said to me, "mom, i'm cold." and then she most certainly did NOT curl up in a heavy blanket...

i am NOT anticipating having ben home tonight. he has NOT spent the last 2+ weeks working super hard and super late (last night he did NOT work until 2am...). so tonight will NOT be my first time of real cooking in over a month!

happy monday everyone!