Tuesday, September 14, 2010

hickory dickory dock

the scene: me, on the phone casually chatting with my sister in law.

the location: my living room, sitting in my chair next to the bookshelf.

the time: 3 o'clock this afternoon, before ben got home from work.

and.... ACTION!


*chat chat chat, blah blah blah...*

me: can you hang on for a sec?

SIL: sure

*i'm quite, listening intently to hear another scratch scratch scratch. i hear it*

me: that's weird... the other day ben heard scratching behind my chair, so he looked to see if it was a mouse but didn't find anything. but now i'm hearing scratching and like a chewing sound. but it sounds like it's coming from underneath the bookshelf (which sits about 2-3 inches off the floor). i knocked on the side of the bookshelf but i still hear it.

SIL: maybe it's something outside.

me: no, it would be 3 feet underground where it's scratching.

SIL: maybe it's in the wall.

me: no, how could it get in? the outside is brick...

SIL: go get a flashlight and look under there and see if there's anything.

me: NO WAY!! what if i SEE something?!

SIL: well then go get some traps and set them under there. i'll stay on the phone with you and when you're done you can get some ice cream.

me: ok....

*getting the traps out. 2 glue, 2 snap traps. i smother them with peanut butter...*

me: hey, i'm sorry in advance if i cuss if these traps accidentally snap and freak me out.

SIL: wow! you cuss?

me, laughing: NO!!

*i carefully set them, then go scope out the bookshelf. not wanting to the mouse escape, i decide to blockade the entire perimeter of the bottom of the bookshelf (except for one side) with books. i set a glue trap on one end, another at the front of the bookshelf, and then go to set the snap trap in there. i gently put it down on the floor, slowly start sliding it under the bookshelf when this thought occurs to me: what if the mouse smells the peanut butter on the trap and comes get it while i'm sliding the trap under there?! i decided to run it past sis.*

me: hey, what if the mouse smells the peanut butter and comes and gets it while i'm...

*SNAP!!!*

me: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!

SIL, laughing: what? did it snap? i don't think i've EVER heard you scream like that!!

*trying to catch my breath and stick my heart back in my chest.*

me: YES IT SNAPPED!!! OH MY GOODNESS THAT FREAKIN SCARED ME!!!!!!

SIL, still laughing: go get a flashlight and see if you caught it.

me: NO WAY!!! ben can do that when he gets home. there's NO WAY i'm gonna look.... oh my goodness—what if it would've smelled the peanut butter on my HAND when i put the glue traps under there and it came and got ME?!?!!!

*i blockade the rest of the bookshelf so that nothing can get out, finish my conversation, totally avoid that area of the living room, and call ben to tell him the story (meanwhile freaking out all over again) and tell him that HE has to look when he gets home.*

ben comes home and pulls my chair out from the wall so he can get a good look, and sure enough, scratch scratch scratch. i start to freak out thinking there's a whole family under there, when ben says, "it's in the wall."

me: what?! how could it get in the wall? and what did i catch?!

ben: did you put the trap under there really carefully?

me: YES! oh...unless it caught on one of the wires.

*ben pulls back the books, shines the flashlight on the trap all to discover that i caught....





...NOTHING!!

all that freaking out, screaming, elevated blood pressure, shortness of breath, and practically peeing my pants for nothing.*

well, one good thing, at least we don't have a mouse in the house!

5 comments:

Heather said...

Oh seriously, that's HILARIOUS! And I had to take deep breaths and put my heart back in my chest too! :)

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Hey, if it were peanut butter on the trap? Ben very well could have looked back there and found me.

A day in the Life... said...

LOL that's great, I am glad you didn't actually catch a mouse!

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

Oh, Erin! This might be better/worse than when we had a raccoon invade our attic!

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

HILARIOUS! I would have spent the afternoon at the neighbor's house until hubby came home for sure!