not me! monday

so if you've read my blog lately, then you already know what's been happening around here this past week. i was a little too stressed to have many not me! moments that were blog-worthy, so today we're gonna take a walk down memory lane... today i'm NOT gonna admit to some pretty stupid, embarassing, and unknown facts from my childhood days. enjoy...

when i was probably six, i was NOT way more naive than samantha is for her age. i didn't know what any "bad" words were, and even if i did, there's no way i would ever say them in front of my parents. well one night my mom's friend FROM CHURCH came over and we were going to show her our baby chickens. (yes, my family used to raise chickens.) none of them would come out from under their box, so i did NOT decide to call them the A-word. in front of my mom. and her friend. thank God that my dad wasn't there! when my mom asked me what i said i did NOT stammer and say "uh, i called them axes..." this is NOT one of my favorite memories of getting in trouble. probably because my mom was so shocked, and also because she doesn't remember it!

one morning before school, as i had just about gotten my bangs to poof just right, i did NOT decide to curl them one more time before heading out the door. i grabbed the curling iron and stuck it in my hair right next to my scalp. i was NOT horrified when i took it out and my bangs were standing straight up. i did NOT look like cameron diaz in there's something about mary. and my bangs did NOT have a bright red substance in them. after freaking out, i did NOT discover that my curling iron had been resting up against my red candle. it did NOT melt the wax all over my curling iron, and then it did NOT harden in my hair. i did NOT try to brush it out—youch!—and pick out as many pieces that i could on the way to school. i did NOT walk around all day with little pieces of wax in my hair, making me look like i had bad dandruff. and i did NOT throw away that evil candle when i got home.

i have always had a small, weak?, overactive bad bladder. call it what you like, but i've always been the one who has to use the restroom ALL.THE.TIME. so when i was about 13 years old, the thought did NOT cross my mind i wonder if one of those huge, uncomfortable, ginormously thick maxi pads would work if i had an i-need-to-go-NOW emergency??... my curiosity did NOT get the better of me and i did NOT experiment one day—thankfully in the confines of my bathroom and not out in public. because it did NOT fail to work as i hoped!!!

what have you NOT done this week? or last month? or 20 years ago?!