not me! monday

welcome to not me! monday! this blog carnival was created by mckmama. you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

last monday my tooth broke. like the whole side of it cracked and was pulling away from my filling. so because i know that i won't be able to get into the dentist anytime soon (and because we don't have dental insurance and i don't feel like paying for a crown or a bridge—it's a tooth that's had a root canal.), i did NOT super glue my tooth. nope. not me! i did NOT get my handy dandy trusty headlight, my home dental kit (you know, the mirror and the pick thingy), and the super glue and i did NOT pull my tooth away from the filling and then squirt a bunch of super glue down in the crevice and push my tooth back into place. no... i definitely didn't do that! because if i did, i surely would've made a drawing or something. (sorry guys, i really did plan on making a visual aid, but i didn't have time today.)

after driving around to 4 local targets looking for a specific item, and calling my sister in minnesota to look for it, i did NOT convince my husband that we needed to go to a target 20 miles away. it was NOT an item that cost $2.50. i did NOT finally find it there, making the 40 mile round trip excursion a success. please don't ask how much gas we wasted...

on thursday i did NOT re-super glue my tooth.

on friday i decided to finally put away the groceries that had NOT been sitting on the floor in bags for about a week. and while i was over by the panty* i was NOT attacked by a swarm of fruit flies. ok, so i wasn't really attacked... anyway, in the bottom of my pantry i noticed that a walmart bag full of apples had a bunch of condensation on the inside. so i went to touch the bag just to find out that they were all rotten! (the bag was sitting on a couple other bags of potatoes and apples that were sitting on a couple 12 packs of soda.) so i got a trash bag to put it in, and when i pulled it out i realized the whole bag was pretty much liquid. it got all over the floor and all over me and it smelled like apple wine! a wonderful reminder of why i don't like wine... i cleaned out the rest of the stuff—the rotten apple juice had seeped down through the other bags, and through the packs of pop all the way down to the floor. needless to say, everything went to the trash. man, what is it with me and fermented fruit?!

*thanks for pointing out the typo, heather. no, people, i really do not keep groceries in my panties...

tonight i did NOT cook dinner. we did NOT eat at the kitchen table (third time in a week! *gasp!*). i did NOT put away the food after we were done eating. i did NOT wash the dishes. by hand. i did NOT then dry said dishes and put most of them away. my mom will NOT fall out of her chair when she reads this!

on thursday morning i did NOT stupidly cause a small fire in my kitchen. you'd think i'd learn from a mistake like that, right?! wrong. all day yesterday and most of today my stove did NOT look like this:



really, who would put the newspaper on the stove after they started a fire three days ago?! certainly NOT ME!!

the fire department is NOT on speed dial...


happy monday!