not me! monday

oh boy. where do i begin? there are just too many things that have NOT happened since my last not me! monday post. but today, i'll keep it short and sweet. er, uhhh, well just read...

last week, after the kids were in bed asleep and ben and i were about to get our nightly netflix fix (say that 5 times fast), i did NOT go to the freezer to get my nightly serving and a half of ice cream. i did NOT easily open the freezer door to a winter wonderland of snow and frost covering everthing in my packed freezer. yes... that's right—the night before when i put the ice cream away? i didn't shut the door all the way...

upon realizing this i did NOT slam the door shut, thinking that it would somehow reverse the problem, i guess. but then i decided to deal with it then and there. i started loading garbage bags with thawing frozen food and salvaging what i could. ben did NOT take over 6 bags of freezer food to the trash. and i was NOT sulking—not because we were throwing hundreds of dollars of food away, but because the ice cream was soupy and now i wouldn't be able to have any.

i started cleaning some of the ice out of the freezer (it really needed to be defrosted, too, so i guess this wasn't all bad), thinking that ben was out at the dumpster for a very long time... when finally he came back inside holding one of our [nine] quarts of soupy ice cream. he did NOT say, "hey, i was digging through the trash and this one isn't too bad. you could have some of it..." i was NOT thinking eww, gross, disgusting, but felt it anyway and it was frozen solid! i was still repelled by the thought of eating it though, thinking it had already been in the trash, when ben told me he did NOT go to the grocery store really quick to buy it for me! awwwww...... ♥

then my moment of you're so sweet got inturrupted. i looked at him, my eyes grew wide, and i did NOT say, "YOU DID NOT JUST GO TO THE STORE IN YOUR JAMMIE PANTS!!!" oh goodness. i'm sure that someday we will NOT end up on peopleofwalmart.com.

ahem.

so that was that. we enjoyed our cookie dough ice cream, netflix, went to bed, and all was well. until i woke up the next morning. the bag of frozen bread dough that i had set on the counter had NOT risen all night, exploded through the bag, and made a huge doughy mess. well thank goodness i threw it in the garbage before i went to bed—the mess was contained in the trash can! but it was quite funny to see a huge glob of dough bursting through its bag. i did NOT punch it down about 3 times before ben came home and took out that trash bag...!

and now fast forward to today. i was able to save a roast. so i decided it needed to be cooked today. i got it in the oven, left the styrofoam tray on the STOVE, and started making the kids' lunch.

yeah yeah... you're probably thinking the same thing my sister thought, ERIN! you did NOT turn the burner on did you?! no, people i am NOT that stupid (really, i am...). but my lovely daughter, smart as she is, did NOT think the bloody meat juice in the bottom of the tray was "vanilla that we use in cakes," and did NOT decide to dip her finger in for a lick. well, at least she has a little smarts—she told me she wiped her finger on the towel "because the vanilla was cold," and then licked it.

see? this is why i should NOT be entirely banned from the kitchen!

visit mckmama for more not me fun! me? i'm off to eat some roast!