because you learned this when you were a toddler...

how to walk.

how to use utensils when you eat.

how to dress yourself.

how to drink out of a cup.

life is not very complicated as a toddler. it is not rocket science, these simple life skills that are learned at an early age. but as evidenced recently, some people need a little refresher course on one particular developmental milestone. and this is probably something that is repeatedly drilled into a toddler/young child's head: wash your hands with soap after you go potty!!!

seriously, you don't see adults crawling around, shoveling food into their face with their hands, and drinking out of a sippy cup. so for the love of mike (or bob. or jim.), please tell me why are there grown people that act like babies when it comes to common bathroom etiquette?!?

*image property of washinghands.net*

yesterday at one of my frequently visited one-stop-shopping-centers, samantha needed to use the restroom so i accompanied her and waited patiently outside the stall. i thoughtlessly sized up the bathroom situation while waiting for samantha: two other stalls were occupied. samantha exited her stall. and even though she would know to do this in her sleep, i reminded her to wash her hands.

a toiled flushed and a woman around 65-70 years old vacated her stall, walked over to the automatic sink, placed her fingertips under the water for half of a second, glanced around for the towels, then proceeded to ask me where they were.

now i have respect for my elders, so naturally i did not say what was going through my head. but come on, what would her mom have said if she was there?! i'm sure she was taught to wash her hands, right? and you'd think older people would wash their hands to avoid getting sick, right? right?!

i will have to admit that thankfully the woman was thoughtful enough to portray that she was actually washing her hands. because i can't tell you how many times i've been in a public restroom and people have flushed the toilet, walked out of the stall, and exited the bathroom without even a glance toward the sink. really people?! i don't care what your bathroom routine is at home, but please have the courtesy and take 10 seconds to wash your hands as if it's an everyday habit.

even if i go into the bathroom stall with samantha and don't actually use the toilet or touch anything, i will still wash my hands upon departure. because in all reality, i don't want to be the guest subject of any bathroom etiquette blog post!

and while we're on the subject, i have another bathroom story from our vacation this summer. our whole family went camping together, and one of the best parts about camping is the little gas station nearby that sells ice cream cones. it's a daily (if not bi-daily) occurrence for us to venture down to the gas station for some ice cream, or tea cream, as it's more commonly known in our family.

this gas station also has a washing machine and dryer, so one day i went there to do a load of stinky, skanky, smoke-ridden clothes. after getting quarters from the lone employee sitting behind the counter, i decided i'd do my hair and make up in the bathroom right down the hall in order to pass the time. just as my beautification process was about done, said employee entered the restroom, went in the stall, quickly emptied her bladder, flushed the toilet, exited the stall, and walked right out the door.

i'm sure shock was written all over my face as i couldn't believe that happened. sure, i know she didn't want to leave the store unattended for a long time, but what could've happened in the 20 seconds it would've taken her to wash her hands?! i just don't get how people can do that with witnesses present... thinking it couldn't get any worse, about 30 minutes later i went to pay for some firewood and there she was, scooping up ice cream for some poor unsuspecting family... i went back to the campsite and told the story to my equally shocked family. we didn't get ice cream from her that day...

so... have you ever experienced this kind of bathroom behavior? do you wash your hands?! do you have an interesting public restroom misconduct story? do tell! although, if you don't wash your hands, please keep that to yourself. otherwise i just might blog about you!

tuesday tip

when you're going on a fun, photo-op filled, family outing that occurs maybe once or twice a year, and you take your camera, your three lenses, and your extra battery, by all means CHECK TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE A MEMORY CARD!

simple, yet apparently too complex for me!

yeah.... yesterday we went to the zoo. the two times we've been there were both in november when it was freezing. and being that it was november, not all of the animals were out because it was too cold. so yesterday when we went we were so excited to see the elephants and giraffes and rhinos for the first time. and wouldn't you know, when i went to take my first picture the lcd said "no memory card!" needless to say ben was giving me crap about that ALL day!

luckily for me we decided to buy a family pass this year. so we'll be back--soon! and so will my camera. with lenses. and batteries. and memory cards! so until then i'll leave you with my favorite exhibit from last time!

tuesday tip

hire a maid, especially if your kitchen looks like this.

and also so that you have more time to do art with your kids.


okay, so this really isn't a tuesday tip post, but i couldn't come up with a clever, witty, artistic title for this post.

anyway, i wanted to pass along some info to you all about a blog carnival coming up on friday in which you can display your creative, artistic side. and your kids'. and your spouse's. and your dog's. oh, wait, i don't think there's a category for pets!

my blog friend sara, along with two other bloggers, is hosting we heart art this week. seriously, go check it out. there's even prizes!

looking forward to seeing everyone's entries. happy arting!

tuesday tip - UPDATED

UPDATE: first of all, i've enjoyed reading all your ticket stories, and lack of a ticket stories. next time i have an encounter with the police i'll try to remember your tips, like cry. for some reason i've never been able to muster up a tear in front of law enforcement!

second, i did not take the picture. i found it on google images and used it without permission. nice illegal activity on my blog post about breaking the law, huh!

third, yes i've gotten two tickets before. my first was when i was 17. i was going to my sister's house for the weekend, driving on a four lane highway (2 lanes on each side with no ditch in the middle). a truck blew past me and at the same time a state trooper came around the corner and clocked ME going 74 in a 55! he whipped around and pulled me over in a snap. i was so terrified that i couldn't even argue it! i'll admit that i wasn't going 55, but i SURE wasn't going 74mph!

my second ticket still makes me MAD to think about it. there's this little stretch going out of town here that goes from 40 to 55mph. but it's only 55 for like a half mile, then it goes down to 45mph (don't ask me why...). so one day when i was driving there i knew that the speed went back down, but i couldn't remember where. i was in the left lane and a big moving truck was right beside me in the right lane so i couldn't see the reduced speed sign. and lucky for me (please note the sarcasm) that day they were pulling everyone over. there were 3-4 police cars on the side of the road pulling people over and all of a sudden i saw a policeman run across the traffic into my lane with his hand out to stop me. thankfully i wasn't looking in my rear view mirror or back at samantha or something, because it would've really sucked to plow right into him! he motioned me over to the side of the road, so i had to maneuver through all the other cars that had slowed down for him. the guy behind me even pulled over but the cop let him go. :-/ i guess the thing that makes me mad is that i got pulled over by having him run through traffic out into the road instead of hopping in the car and pulling me over. can they do that?! kelly, i may need your husband's expertise advise on this one!

in addition to getting pulled over for running the stop sign last week, i have gotten pulled over for doing a U-turn, which are illegal in missouri. i was about 8 months pregnant with ryan and the kind, older officer that pulled me over must have seen my huge belly because he took pity on me and gave me a lecture instead of a ticket.

in the past few days whenever we have seen a police car samantha has warned me, "mom, drive SLOW, ok?! because you don't want to get a ticket!"

i think she has become a back-seat driver!


ORIGINAL POST:

#1. avoid, at all costs, rolling through a stop sign. especially if there's a policeman sitting in a parking just waiting to catch you.


#2. definitely don't get pulled over while driving your parent's out-of-state vehicle. that might look a little suspicious!

#3. if you MUST break the law in front of law enforcement, by all means make sure that the policeman that pulls you over is a nice, young, fresh-out-of-the-academy officer who will let you off with a warning.

#4. as all of this is happening, make sure you glance back at your 5-year-old to see the frightened look on her face, and reassure her that you're not going to get arrested and go to jail!


ok, i wanna hear your cop stories--stupidest thing you got pulled over for, how you got out of a ticket, etc.--all of them!!

and if you've never been pulled over, feel free to flaunt it!

tuesday tip

be careful what you post on your blog. because you never who will get their hands on it...

about a month and a half ago i wrote this gross post about samantha's earwax and how i practically went mining for it. and then the following day i posted a picture of me wearing the headlight that i used while toothpicking her ear.

then a couple weeks ago i received these in the mail:





yeah, my sister becky wanted to help me in my new business so she made 12 business cards for me.




so, anyone in need of some earwax removal? .....anyone? .....hello??? .....ANYONE??!?

hmm... that's what i thought.

thanks anyways beck! :-)

tuesday tip - tell your husband to go fly a kite

and here's the real tip: stay inside with the kids!

it was a beautiful, windy day here yesterday. after eating lunch outside, ben decided to go get one of our kites. he got samantha all set up with the kite and came inside to get another one when i heard samantha yelling "DAD!!! DAAAAADDDDD!!!!!!!"

when i went outside she was standing there, helpless, looking up at her kite stuck in the tree. i got it free and then we had an unevenful kite flying day things got dangerous when ben brought out his kite! we were having fun watching the kites, then samantha's broke. so we went on the swings while ben continued to fly his kite.

he was trying to do loop-de-loops (or however you spell that). and at one point, the kite came down at 30 MPH (ok, probably more like 7) an abruptly stopped right above ryan's and my head, thanks to the crossbar on the swingset. i so was shocked that that happened and that ben was laughing, so i wasn't fast enough to get a picture of it. he hurried so fast to get the kite back up in the air and when he succeeded without my getting a picture he said "haha! now you can't put that on your blog!"

ten minutes later he was still doing the same thing. he also managed to get it stuck in a tree a few times while continuing to try loop-de-loops. i told him i was a little nervous about him hitting the kids, who were still on the swings and his arrogent reply was, "hun, if the kite starts to go down i can make it go back up again."

less than 60 seconds later...

...he did it again! i was totally ready this time. and as i was snapping pictures ben was saying, "noooo.....!! oh man. i just totally made your blog."

now that i think about it, he probably did it on purpose! :-) anyway, he "reeled" in the kite shortly thereafter and we went inside with no injuries. but really, for the safety of you and your children, stay inside!

here's some more pictures of the fun!

samantha had a blast flying the kite


and ryan had fun watching!

ryan even got in on the action

and got to fly the kite!

don't be fooled...

he was being goofy and totally posed!

tuesday tip

your mom may have told you, your doctor most likely told you, and now i'm gonna tell you my tuesday tip:

don't use a q-tip to clean out your ears.

or your daughter's ears.

i had done this since samantha was little. after her bath i'd gently twist the q-tip in her ear to get out the "sunshine" in her ears, or earwax. :-) well last year when i took her to the doctor for her 4 year well check they said she had a big buildup of earwax and instructed me not to use a q-tip because that compacts the earwax in your ear.

so i haven't. but in one year no earwax came out.

until a couple weeks ago. one day before the kids' appointments, the light hit samantha's ear just right and i could see something in it. so i got the flashlight and started looking in her ear. it looked like her whole ear was plugged with earwax. so i got a toothpic (probably not a good idea) and tweezers (again, i should have probably left this to the experts) and tried to start moving it around. i got a few pieces out, then ben insisted that i just let the doctor look at it in the morning.

when the nurse looked at it the next day she said they'd have to flush her ears out. then dr. o, you know, the doctor who isn't our doctor that i liked better, dug around in her ear with what looked like some kind of crochet hook and pulled out a big piece. he was even a little grossed out.

dr. b decided not to flush it out, but to just have me put mineral oil drops in it every night to soften it up. hey... did you know that the ear naturally pushes out the ear wax that it doesn't need? all those little hairs move it along the ear canal to the outer ear.

anyway, i put drops in her ears every day in addition to toothpicking her ear! (man, i wish i could've seen how idiotic i looked. ben has this flashlight thingy that fits over your head with elastic. it's like a miner's light. so i'd wear the hands-free light to see into her ear while prodding around with the toothpic.) then finally one day i was able to stick the tweezers in her ear and grasp a gigantic chunk of sunshine. and then an even bigger piece after that!!! fast forward about three days and i was able to do that to the other ear. gross and facinating all at the same time!

so because three of you wanted to see the picture, and because no one objected, here it is.

CAUTION!!

close the window

if you get

grossed out

easily!

see the lighter half of the huge chunk? i got three of those out of each ear before the huge chunk came out. and the dark part? it totally plugged up her entire ear canal. in both ears.

legal disclaimer: consult your physician before starting any exercise program sticking toothpicks and tweezers in anyone's ear. (unless, of course, you have a steady hand and a still child!)

tuesday tip

here's my tip for today:
make sure you listen to ever word your waitress says, so that you won't be totally surprised when a bunch of servers come over to your table and sing happy birthday to you.

here's the story:
today ben turned 30. awwwww....happy birthday honey!

anyway, we didn't do much today until ryan got up from his nap. we decided to go out for dinner and ended up at red robin - yum! - which is a burger restaurant. so we ordered and when the waitress brought out our food i asked her if they do anything for birthdays to which she replied yeah. i told her ben turned 30 today and she just kind of smiled and said "ohhhhhhhhhhh... i won't tell anyone!" i figured she was talking about not telling anyone his age. but ben thought she was talking about not telling anyone it was his birthday. then she proceeded to say "i'll bring you a sundae when you're done with your meal. and we'll sing happy birthday. don't worry--it's not too bad--it's fun!"

well i guess ben only heard her say "i'll bring you a sundae blah blah blah blah blah blah it's fun!"

so while we were eating our dinner another person, who was celebrating a birthday, got sung to. ben didn't say anything like, 'i'm glad they won't be singing to me' but come to find out, that's exactly what he was thinking! then four of our friends walked in and talked to us for a little bit before sitting down.

then when we got done with our meal, a whole herd of servers came over to the table, gave ben his sundae and two balloons, and said "we have a birthday!!!!!" *clap*clap*clap*clap* "HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WE'RE GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE........." and on and on. ben looked embarrassed to say the least. and i was loving it! :-)

when they walked away he just gave me that look. the look like he wanted to be mad but the only expression he could give me was a smile. then he told me that he thought they weren't going to sing to him because the waitress said she wouldn't tell!

oh, but he loved it anyway. you know they always do, but just can't admit to it! ;-) i told him to smile if he loved it. and then to frown if he hated it. and he couldn't pull it off! but i think the sundae was totally worth it!

tuesday tip

we had a blowout here yesterday. i mean a BIG blowout. and actually not one, but two.

yesterday ryan experienced the extreme opposite of constipation (hallelujah! and ewwww... that's nasty to clean up), which inspired me for my tuesday tip:

~double diaper a baby who's teething and is on miralax. ryan wears size 3 diapers, but i also happened to have a pack of size 4. so i just put one on right over the other. :-)

~be smart enough to double diaper the child before their two blowouts!



the contest ends in 3 days!

tuesday tip

if y'all are like me, you suffer from the same thing as i do..... too many plastic wal-mart, target, or grocery store bags hangin' around! (i have a huge trash bag full of them to recycle right now.) but a few here and there can really come in handy. especially in the car!! and to easily store them without having a wal-mart bag full of bags in your car? use an empty kleenex box!

shove a bunch of plastic bags in there, then toss the kleenex box in your trunk or back seat. grab a bag when you have a lot of trash in your car, or when you have a lot of little stuff to bring in from your car, or when your grocery bag rips and you have canned goods all over the trunk!

now i just hope you don't end up needing kleenexes while you're driving around!

visit becky's blog to read some more great tuesday tips!

tuesday tip

my sister becky shared some great tips on her tuesday tip post today, so i thought i'd share mine too!

the other day i saw on tv that you could substitute healthier ingredients in your recipes to cut down on calories and fat. so today i googled it. i found some great websites and some great ideas for substitutions. i wanted to try it right away, so tonight i made healthy brownies. ok, ok... healthier brownies!

of course i used a betty crocker mix, but i substitued applesauce and egg whites. you can use applesauce for half of the oil and 2 egg whites for 1 egg. so instead of using 2/3 cup of oil i used 1/3 cup of oil and 1/3 cup of applesauce. and instead of 2 eggs, i used 1 egg and 2 egg whites. (if you make substitutions in a recipe cut the baking time down. i baked them for 20 minutes instead of 24.)

when i took them out of the oven it was hard to tell if they were done by just looking at them. i think the applesauce made their appearance a bit more uhh... spongy! but i inserted a toothpick and they were done.

the consitency was more cake like --- next time i think i might use just 2 egg whites. but they still tasted great! and by substituting ingredients, i cut out 80 grams of fat and 700 calories! also, fyi, 1 egg has 210 miligrams of cholesterol which is 70% of the daily value. an egg white has 0. yes, ZERO mg of cholesterol. food for thought!