mama [never] said there'll be days like this

let's just get right to the point—today is all about pre-menstrual syndrome. [if you're an uncomfortable male reading this, you have my permission to leave—i won't judge. however, if you're a woman and leave? i WILL be mad!]

anyway, i'm currently doing a beth moore Bible study, and one thing she said a couple weeks ago hit me (in my own words, of course. i'm a mom—my memory is shot.): women have a week of pre-menstrual syndrome, a week of menstrual syndrome, and a week of post-menstrual syndrome. that leaves ONE good week out of the month. and if you have daughters? you can kiss that one week goodbye.

now my mom never told me there'd be days like this. especially the days when i could wring my daughter's neck. and she certainly never displayed days like this. i mean really—my mom had THREE girls, and i only have one. and i don't think she ever got nearly as peeved with me and my sisters like i can get with samantha.

forget all other symptoms, it's my MOOD that wacks me out. it creeps up slowly. day one i start getting a little annoyed with the kids. the next day i start losing a little more patience. day three i start getting snippy. and the morning of day four? i warn samantha that "today it will be really easy for you to get in trouble." and she heeds my warning. it's like she knows exactly what i'm talking about.

i don't know what it is, but ryan could be horrible. he could throw a fit, color on the walls, etc., and i probably wouldn't be as mad at him as i would be with samantha if she gave me a funny look.

now if she's only 6 years old and can get under my skin this much, what's it gonna be like when she's 16?! maybe this is why my freezer is plumb full of ice cream. thankfully i—no wait—my kids only suffer two days of this mood and not a week.

help me out here, ladies. surely i'm not the only one with this problem—how do you cope with your children (and hubby) when you're pmsy? moms of teenagers, is there hope for me?! now for that ice cream...

everything i know about God i learned from my children

i grew up in a Bible-believing, God-fearing, church-going, Christian school-attending home. growing up i learned a whole lot about God and Jesus and the Bible, and i thought i knew it all (which obviously i didn't and still don't!).

and then i had kids. i became a parent. instant love beyond all measure for this tiny helpless babe. from that point on, i started to understand God a lot better. i learned more about God than i thought possible through the miracle of being a mother. and while i'm not comparing myself to God, when you become a parent it's so much easier to understand how God sees us—His unfailing love; His ever presence; His mercy and grace; His omniscience; His forgiveness; His patience. i could go on and on... all these attributes of God became much clearer as i felt the same for my own child. and to think how much more God feels for me!

on to my point... yesterday was a bad day. i would almost go as far as saying it was an awful day. ryan is in the crying screaming fit stage, and we battled all day (and the day before, and the day before). my only reprive was his you're-getting-sent-to-bed-with-no-lunch nap. we even got to end the day with a screaming fit before bed time. you know, because going potty before getting into bed is definitely worth fussing over for 30 minutes.

fast forward to this morning. i was apprehensive about even getting out of bed today. what will set off the attitude bomb today, i wondered. it could be anything—from the color of his socks, to the temperature of his pop tart, to the expression on his teddy bear's face. regardless, it was a new day, and he deserved a new start and a second chance. and i don't think either of us would've been too happy if i left him in his crib today!

we made it through breakfast. we made it through going potty and getting dressed. i was amazed! i laid down on my bed relieved that we hadn't had a meltdown yet. and ryan followed. he climbed up on my bed and for the next 45 minutes, we played. we bounced, jumped, i was his jungle gym, we loved, hid under the covers, hugged, and laughed. "i love you ryan," i said. "love you mama too," he replied. i even got a snotty slobbery kiss. it was beautiful.

as he ran off to play, i continued to lie on my bed, pondering God and the new start that he gives me each day. The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. i'm sure there are days that i throw my own tantrums with God, let's say, yesterday for example. i didn't have the greatest attitude about my day. there were times i was upset, mad, angry, impatient, unloving, uncontent, etc. but because of God's love and his mercy, He has given me a new morning. a new day to start over and be a better wife, mom, and child of God. i can even hear him whispering in my ear, I love you, child.

i love you too, God! and here's my big slobbery kiss: muah!!

But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15 NLT

not me! monday

welcome to not me! monday. this blog carnival was created by mckmama. you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

first off, i have NOT been thinking and praying for stellan and the whole mckfamily this week. and checking twitter for updates has NOT been a priority to me. nope, i did NOT unsuccessfully try to avoid a shopping trip to target one day just so i could stay home, close to the computer...

while scrambling to find something to wear to church sunday morning i did NOT grab the new shirt that i wore on friday night for our family pictures. it was definitely NOT the unwashed shirt that was NOT gently laying in the hamper... i did NOT freshen it up with a spritz of perfume, concluding that my dirty, perfume masked shirt was NOT the nicest shirt i own. i do NOT need new clothes...!

ryan is NOT beginning to show his 2-year-old colors. he has NOT been defiant and stubborn lately. note, adorably defiant and stubborn. and in a moment of his deliberate naughtiness, instead of administering some much needed discipline, heather and i did NOT burst out in laughter. ahh, this should be a fun year with ryan!

in an attempt to do some kung-fu moves on me, my husband did NOT totally biff and land on his already injured bad knee. immediately following the fall i did NOT hear girlish laughter/crying. but on the upside, ben's spirits were NOT lifted due to the fact that my sister got some great action shots...



i did NOT have a couple heart to heart discussions about marriage with samantha this week. it did NOT make me sad and a little bit scared, considering she's only 6 years old. one day out of the blue she did NOT say to me, "mom, i just don't know who to choose to marry---him* or him*---last night i was just laying in bed thinking about who i should choose." oh goodness, i will NOT have my hands full with her for the next 12+ years. and after reading this, ben will NOT want to invest in a shotgun.

*i promised i wouldn't tell any names. come to think of it, i might have promised not to tell this story... shhh.


there you have it. what have you NOT done this week?

and the drama starts now...

well in the three hours since i posted last, the weather has cleared up and it ended up being very nice outside. so out we went. i got toys and a blanket for ryan to sit on and i started weeding the flower bed (the weeds were starting to look nicer than the flowers!).

samantha played with our neighbor, mauricio, who is also 5. they were having fun playing tag, blowing bubbles, and running back and forth through the house from the front yard to the back yard. when i was done weeding the flowers, mauricio asked if he could have dinner with us so i said sure and sent them out to the back yard while i looked for something for dinner.

after a few minutes passed samantha came inside bawling so hard i could hardly understand her. "he's not gonna have dinner with us. he went hooooooooooommmmme."

so i went outside and he was just coming out of his house again so i asked him if he was going to eat with us and he said he didn't want to. he was going to play with his other friend, and he'd play with samantha later.

so we went inside, samantha had a sobfest on my lap for about 5 minutes, then i finally asked her if she was sad because he wasn't going to have dinner with us, or because he went to play with someone else.

again, crying so hard that i could barely make out her words, she sobbed, "he's my best friend and i just don't want him to leave me. i want to play with him and i want him to have dinner with us too. and ohhhhhhhhh i'm just so sad."

what do i say to that? i have never had to deal with a broken little heart and i'm not ready to either! so i tried to explain to that we need to share him with his other friends and that he needs to play with the other boys too.

but her poor little heart was just so sad. so i popped a pizza in the oven, turned on "friends" for her (yeah, nice mothering huh... but i think i just heard her laugh!), and sat down to blog real quick! hopefully some food, a couple episodes of "i love lucy," and some ice cream and chocolate will snap her out of it! and hopefully i won't have to deal with this kind of drama for a couple more years!

my abused children: bruised and neglected

last night before bed ryan was sitting by the rocking chair. he either wanted to lay down or crawl, or else he just plain fell over because he hit part of the chair and started screaming. i didn't see what happened because i was sitting in the chair. so i picked him up and searched his head for a bump or red spot but couldn't find anything. then this morning when he got up samantha noticed his eye. poor baby, that must have hurt!!! i guess it's a taste of the bruises to come when he starts walking around!

mom, stop saying "ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." he's fine. :-)

and then there's samantha.... today she was doing her "homework," you know, one of those workbooks you get at the dollar store. i was telling her what she needed to do on each page and then, while i was feeding ryan lunch, she needed help on a page so i told her she'd have to wait. she just stood there for the longest time and when i finally looked at her she looked like she was about to cry so i asked her what was wrong. her lip started quivering and she sobbed, "you never have time for me."

i was thinking what in the world? i NEVER have time for you?!?!? i'm a STAY AT HOME MOM..... my days revolve around you!!!!!

but i just picked her up and cuddled her for a little bit and she told me she was feeling a little bit neglected. i appologized and explained to her that i can't always do things for her right away. so then she was asking me a bunch of questions like, "if i was bleeding, and you were feeding ryan lunch, would i have to wait until he was done with lunch?"
oh where does she come up with some of this stuff!!!

so this afternoon i spent time with her while ryan took a nap and we played a game of copycat (i hope this phase doesn't last too long... i hope this phase doesn't last too long...) that lasted pretty much until bedtime. regardless, i think she was feeling better tonight because she performed a little concert for me before bed. and no, that isn't a bruise on her forehead! just a little leftover cherry cheesecake (although, don't ask me how it got up there...).