everything i know about God i learned from my children

i grew up in a Bible-believing, God-fearing, church-going, Christian school-attending home. growing up i learned a whole lot about God and Jesus and the Bible, and i thought i knew it all (which obviously i didn't and still don't!).

and then i had kids. i became a parent. instant love beyond all measure for this tiny helpless babe. from that point on, i started to understand God a lot better. i learned more about God than i thought possible through the miracle of being a mother. and while i'm not comparing myself to God, when you become a parent it's so much easier to understand how God sees us—His unfailing love; His ever presence; His mercy and grace; His omniscience; His forgiveness; His patience. i could go on and on... all these attributes of God became much clearer as i felt the same for my own child. and to think how much more God feels for me!

on to my point... yesterday was a bad day. i would almost go as far as saying it was an awful day. ryan is in the crying screaming fit stage, and we battled all day (and the day before, and the day before). my only reprive was his you're-getting-sent-to-bed-with-no-lunch nap. we even got to end the day with a screaming fit before bed time. you know, because going potty before getting into bed is definitely worth fussing over for 30 minutes.

fast forward to this morning. i was apprehensive about even getting out of bed today. what will set off the attitude bomb today, i wondered. it could be anything—from the color of his socks, to the temperature of his pop tart, to the expression on his teddy bear's face. regardless, it was a new day, and he deserved a new start and a second chance. and i don't think either of us would've been too happy if i left him in his crib today!

we made it through breakfast. we made it through going potty and getting dressed. i was amazed! i laid down on my bed relieved that we hadn't had a meltdown yet. and ryan followed. he climbed up on my bed and for the next 45 minutes, we played. we bounced, jumped, i was his jungle gym, we loved, hid under the covers, hugged, and laughed. "i love you ryan," i said. "love you mama too," he replied. i even got a snotty slobbery kiss. it was beautiful.

as he ran off to play, i continued to lie on my bed, pondering God and the new start that he gives me each day. The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. i'm sure there are days that i throw my own tantrums with God, let's say, yesterday for example. i didn't have the greatest attitude about my day. there were times i was upset, mad, angry, impatient, unloving, uncontent, etc. but because of God's love and his mercy, He has given me a new morning. a new day to start over and be a better wife, mom, and child of God. i can even hear him whispering in my ear, I love you, child.

i love you too, God! and here's my big slobbery kiss: muah!!

But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15 NLT

just another day?

so let's get right down to it—it's new years eve. but to me it feels like just another day. we have no plans to do anything tonight and no parties to attend. and ben and i were never into the party/drinking scene, so this holiday probably isn't as important to us as it is to other people.

and earlier this week as i was asked a few times if i was excited for new years, i'd say "no, it's just another day..." and at the risk of sounding exactly like my dad (which isn't a bad thing!) it is just another day. it's no different than yesterday or the day before. there really isn't anything super significant about this day apart from this: (and my dad's birthday—happy birthday daddy!!!)

it's another day that i'm alive!

it's another day that i get to enjoy my husband. my daughter. and my son.

it's another day that i can experience God's love, grace, and mercy.

it's another day closer to a new year, a new beginning, a chance to start fresh.

it's another day closer to Jesus's return!

so while it is, in fact, just another day, today i rejoice—for God has granted me yet one more day.

life is fleeting. it is a vapor, a breath, a blink of an eye. so not just today, but every day, take a moment to enjoy the gift of another day! that's what i'm celebrating today!

happy new year!

stupid. just plain stupid.

it was a slightly normal morning. i hit snooze on the alarm clock a couple times and then (after 5 hours of sleep) got up to get ready for ryan's therapy appointment. i didn't wake the kids, as i wanted a few moments of peace before they woke up. i went to the kitchen and turned the tea kettle on so i could make myself a mug of chai, then sat at the kitchen computer to check my email and facebook. i groggily read through emails and statuses until i heard a soft little 'pop'—like the little poof when you light a gas stove.

i turned around to see what it was.

and then i jumped up!!

there were 12 inch flames shooting from the plastic pampered chef micro cooker that i left on the stove from a few nights ago.

yes, i turned on the wrong burner again...

i calmly panicked. i looked at the sink and back again at the flames. both sides of the sink had dishes in them. i looked back at the burning microwave-use-only dish and back at the sink again. so i quickly grabbed the few dishes on the one side of the sink, set them on the floor, grabbed the melting micro cooker, and hurried it over to the sink.

i grabbed the faucet sprayer and hosed down the remaining fire in the sink, then turned around to see the burner still on fire. the sprayer wouldn't reach that far, so i grabbed the dirty lid that i had set on the floor and covered the burner with it. but it's the kind of lid that has a hole to vent steam. so while it contained most of the fire, it didn't smother it all. i turned back to the sink to get something to put water in to pour on the fire. ah, the dirty pan on the floor... i grabbed it, put some water in it, ran over to the stove, turned off the burner (like, DUH, right?!), and picked up the lid. that big breath of oxygen made the flames shoot up again, so i dumped the water on the stove and went back for more. after the second dose, the flames were finally out.

i stood there, my legs shaking, looking at my mess and thinking about how bad this could have been: i never sit in the kitchen to check my email. never. i always use my laptop in the living room. and if i would've gone in there like usual, i would've never heard the popping noise.

and what if the kids would've woke up before i realized my mistake?! i could have been upstairs getting them dressed and not had a clue as to what was happening in the kitchen...

thank God i didn't experience a what if this morning. and thank goodness i didn't have to use the fire extinguisher (which was actually sitting right under the computer desk. and yes, the thought crossed my mind.), or worse, call the fire department!

well after all was said and done, i left the mess. the house was smokey and smelled like nasty burnt plastic, so i opened the doors, then went and got dressed quick. i got breakfast for the kids to eat in the car, then got them up and dressed, and we left for therapy. well, and to get away from the stench.

after therapy we went shopping, met daddy for lunch, then did some more shopping. we got home at 1:30 and the house still stunk. bad. so i opened the doors and windows again. thankfully it was a really nice day to air out the house!

when ben got home, i reenacted the whole thing for him, sans fire of course. i took a couple more pictures, and then i cleaned up.

needless to say, the burner and the drip tray went into the trash.



as did my one of a kind and just the right size for my itty bitty sink dish drainer.


oh, and also my mutilated micro-cooker.


i cooked dinner tonight, all the while with a husband and daughter who were cheering and clapping for me that i turned on the right burner, and used the correct pan on the stove.

oh well. it won't happen again... because i have no burner. and when i do get one? the knob will still be safely disconnected from the stove until needed!

thankful thursday

there are so many things to be thankful about concerning ryan, but as my day unfolded, i discovered a few incidents to be thankful for.

somehow ryan stuck his head in the handrail on our stairs this morning. it was lodged pretty good. and the metal balusters don't budge. at all. thankfully, after pulling and maneuvering, i got his head out. i'm SO glad he didn't stick it in there any further, otherwise i would've been calling someone. (who would i call? the cops? a blacksmith? do blacksmiths even exist still? boy i'm confused. i'm so thankful that i got his head out!)

fast forward to right before lunch. ryan emerged from the kitchen carrying a steak knife. apparently he's just now tall enough to reach the counter. i am incredibly thankful that his clumsy little self did not trip on the air and fall and letsnotevengothere...

and then at lunch stupid me decided to give ryan orange slices in a glass condiment bowl. bad idea. yes, he ended up throwing the bowl on the floor, shattering it to pieces. once again, i was quite thankful that he was restrained to his high chair—i would HATE to have to pick pieces of glass out his feet!!

oh, and i can't omit the immense amount of thankfulness in my heart when naptime rolled around. talk about my cup overflowing!

and as i sit here pondering the unexpected events and close calls of the day, i am thankful that tomorrow is a new day. let's hope he got all the accidents out of his system today!

what are you thankful for today?!

thankful thursday

if you read yesterday's post, i think today's thankful thursday should be rather obvious!

today i am extremely thankful for all of you, my dear friends and family, who lifted up ryan, ben, and myself in prayer yesterday. what an amazing experience it was to feel those prayers and see them answered!! i can't say thank you enough!

* * *

ben and i were able to take a little bit of video yesterday while ryan was getting the electrodes attached to his scalp. many of you have seen them on facebook, but i thought i'd post them here too, so that you could see a little bit of the process. and yes, that's max screaming. now see why i'm so thankful for your prayers?!





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what are you thankful for today?!

new mercies

rewind 8 days ago.

i had a bad day.

like really really really (really really) bad.

i was sad. i was scared. i was confused. i felt hurt. i was shocked. i felt crazy. i couldn't focus. i was tired. i felt alone.

*note: before you go assuming what happened, no one died, our marriage is perfectly fine, the kids are great, etc. etc.* :-)

the night before, tuesday night, i found out something about myself that i didn't know. which brought me few hours of sleep followed by a crazy wacked out couple days.

my husband came home from work wednesday night with a sad look on his face and said, "i couldn't wait to come home and see you and make sure you were okay. i've had this sick feeling all day for you."

awwww....

and later that night, as i was sobbing and having a heart to heart conversation with ben, he held me. then he prayed for me.

now the only reason i'm telling you this is because this is what i'm thankful for today. at the time i could've sworn to you that this would never make a thankful thursday. but through this bump in the road which rattled me for a few days, ben and i felt a rejuvenated love for each other that was different than either of us had ever experienced.

but at the same time it was oh so familiar.

i realized that every morning i experience the novelty of God's great love for me. His mercy and compassion are new for me each and every day!

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

and so, i may still be a slight bit sad, a tad confused, and a lot crazy(!), but tomorrow morning i will wake up to a brand new day and soak up all the refreshed love that God has for me!

and that, dear friends, is definitely something to be thankful about!!

gag me

today i took a shower.

*pause for applause*

yes, i'm quite proud of myself too, seeing as that didn't happen for me yesterday...

ahem.

anyway, towards the end of my shower i couldn't help but notice the nice little pool of water i was standing in. drat. the drain probably needs to be declogged from the massive amount of hair that falls out of my head, i thought to myself.

and then the thoughts continued in my head: man that really grosses me out. i can't stand to pulling hair out of drains. it makes me want to throw up. oh i almost did throw up that one time when ben said he had a present for me and he proceeded to show me what looked like a living creature made of hair, soap scum, etc. that he pulled out of the shower drain. that was so mean of him. i hope he'll declog the drain again so that i won't have to. i would probably end up throwing our little plastic drain declogger right in the trash with the gobs of hair. i am NOT gonna touch the gobs of hair...

[side note: this is also my thankful thursday. because i am so thankful that ben will declog the drain for me...]

so as i was standing in the shower thinking about how gross drain hair is (well, hair in general. you know, when it's not on your head where it was made to be.), i got to thinking about all the things that make me gag.

and i knew you all would be dying to know too.

so here's my list of the top ten things that make me want to puke:

10. the thought of eating sushi.

9. the smell of sulfer

8. spoiled milk. apparently not chocolate milk though!

7. slimy food particles in the dishwater.

6. other babies' poopy diapers. (i'm SO glad i don't work in the baby nursery at church!)

5. seeing kids chew on paper.

4. the thought of having my eye poked out.

3. having anything in my mouth for too long. gum, pen, keys, etc. there comes a point where i will start gagging on it. (too bad it didn't work with chocolate. or ice cream...)

2. dryer lint. i couldn't touch the stuff until i had kids! and it still grosses me out to touch it.

1. hair!! hair in drains. hair in food. hair in my mouth (refer to #3.) stray hairs in the shower. globs of hair in dust bunnies. seriously, they all make me gag!


ahh, now i will be able to sleep better knowing that you now know what gags me...

and hey if you like reading lists and/or making lists, stop by sara's blog and check out top ten thursday!

i champion cheap shoes. and target clearance.

call me frugal, call me penny-pinching, call me an uncommon woman, but i like me some cheap shoes. so of course a few months ago i found it hard to breath when i bought my $60 tennis shoes. and they were on sale. and i even had a $10 off coupon--i only paid $40 for my shoes and it was heart-wrenching to me!! don't get me wrong here. i LOVE spending money. just not on shoes. so my $40 shoes stay inside the house. they are for treadmill use only. never have i worn them outside.

so i had a dilemma: we are going camping for a week. and we take lots of walks while camping. and i don't like taking lots of walks in flippy-flops. so with our trip quickly approaching i needed to find a cheap pair of walking shoes for outdoor use and today it was my goal to find some inexpensive ones. i had already looked at *cough* walmart, but didn't remotely like any of the ones there. so next up was payless. i browsed through the aisle holding my shoe size and didn't really find a price i liked. yes, $24.99 was way too much to spend on camping shoes. i figured i would have to return to walmart and buy the $13 butt-ugly, probably-hurt-like-crap, and will-fall-apart-in-no-time tennis shoes.

but right at that moment the angels sang and a bright light burst forth from a box on the bottom shelf. could it be true?? was i really seeing a $10 sticker on the box?!? i enthusiasically tried on the shoes. they fit great and felt even better! and here's the kicker: they're pink!!

i left the store splendidly happy that i got a $35 pair of shoes for $10!! thank you God!

(now do you get my pun on the title?! hehe!)

then i headed next door to target, where i got another cheap pair of flippy-flops, clearance shoes for samantha, and best of all a cute clearance bra and panties. and no, i won't post a picture of that. you're welcome, dad!

so this is my thankful thursday: good deals and money saved--so that i can go spend it on something else!

what are you thankful for today?

random

i finally have an appointment to get my hair cut next monday. i couldn't be more excited! and after weighing all your ideas and suggestions (thank you!) i have decided how i want to have it cut. and while i can tell you that i won't get a mohawk or a mullet, i'm going to keep my soon-to-be-new hairstyle a secret until it's cut!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

i'm getting close to my 200th post. so to celebrate i'm gonna have a giveaway. and the prize? well, it's super cute. and it's something i use EVERY day. oh i can't wait!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

my sister brought to my attention that i forgot to mention that my dad was a mail carrier for 30 plus years. which makes this post all the funnier.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

we got samantha a digital camera for her birthday. within 24 hours she had already taken 100+ pictures. a girl after my own heart! just look at how cute she is taking a picture of her new puppy!

she also told me that she deleted the pictures of me but kept the ones that she took of ryan so that she can blog about him!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

did you think i'd forget thankful thursday? well i got a migraine tonight. no, i'm NOT thankful for that. but i am thankful that samantha is old enough to watch ryan. because she played with him for a bit while i layed down, and then i got them dinner and set them in front of the tv while i slept for about TWO hours!

what's that you say? mother of the year?! that's what i thought...!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

and with that, goodnight. i am actually gonna go to bed before midnight!

thankful thursday

today i am very thankful. and very proud.

my nephew cameron, who is at the US Navy boot camp, underwent a huge test last night. from 8pm to 8am he took his final test, called battle stations.

Battle Stations is the culminating event of Navy Boot Camp. It's designed to wrap everything you've learned about swimming survival, teamwork, fire-fighting, damage control, and more into one massive 12 hour hands-on exercise.

after being up all day, he had to stay up all night and pass this final test to graduate and become a US Navy Sailor.

first off, i'm thankful that ryan was up from 3am to 4am last night. it gave me a chance to pray for cam!

second, i'm thankful to those of you who knew about this test and were praying for him too. thank you!!

third, i'm so thankful that HE PASSED!!! he will graduate from boot camp tomorrow morning, and i will be the very proud aunt of a US Navy sailor! congratulations cameron! we love you!!

thankful thursday

i'm one of those people who likes to procrastinate. i mean, i like to procrastinate so much that i made myself a procrastination award for heaven's sake!

what's that? you want to know some of my favorite things to procrastinate on? well for starters,

cleaning. i actually just cleaned the living room two days ago, and it is once again a MESS. so instead of cleaning the living room every other day, i like to procrastinate and clean it once every two weeks...!

laundry. a little bit like cleaning, but at the same time all together different when it comes to procrastination. ben keeps his painter's whites for work separate from the other laundry so it gets done separately. and i procrastinate. if he still has one more pair in his drawer for the next day i procrastinate on washing them! so i don't know how many times at 11:30 pm i've started a load of his clothes because he doesn't have any clean ones for the next day!

putting away groceries. why fight the pantry if you can just leave a bag of non perishable items on the counter/table/floor? especially if you're gonna use them the same day. or the next day. or the day after that...

paying the bills. this gets a little tricky. i always make sure the bills that could accrue late fees (i.e. credit cards) are always paid on time. but our gas, electric, and cable are the ones that i mainly choose to procrastinate on paying. and not because we don't have the money to pay them, but mostly because i forget about them. and by the time i remember to pay them it's usually 2 or 3 months worth of charges to pay.

so today i remembered that i haven't paid the bills in a while. and here's where my thankful thursday comes in: hesitantly i logged into our electric company's website to view my bill. thinking that it would be over $200, i gasped when i saw $50. apparently i not only paid my bill last month, but i rounded up and overpaid! same with the gas bill. and the cable bill. overpaid last month. YES! instead of dishing out what i figured would be $500 to pay the bills today, the damages were less than $100! *picture found on google images*

hmmm...... maybe i should do this every month!?

thankful thursday

today ben brought a box turtle home from work. he found it at the job site and thought samantha would like to see it. he even thought we could make a little home for it in our backyard. but as it turns out, my research shows that a turtle won't survive in our backyard!

well, tonight i'm thankful that we won't have another addition to our family--the fish are neglected enough! but at the same time i'm kinda sad. we played with the turtle this afternoon and she was lots of fun.

so in addition to being thankful that rosie the turtle (yes, i let samantha name her...) will be going back to her home, i'm also thankful that ben said we didn't have to bring her back until monday. so we get the whole weekend to play with rosie. (and a whole weekend to try to keep her alive!) more pictures to come!

oh, and i totally welcome any advice on how to keep a turtle alive! :-)

thankful thursday~ketchup style

i mean, uh, catch-up style! it's been FIVE WEEKS (ahhh!!) since i've posted a thankful thursday. this was in part due to my trip to minnesota, having my parents come to kc for a visit, and then recovering from it all! :-)

but don't get me wrong, i have been thankful these past five weeks--thankful for things such as:

1. my family--how close we are and how much we love each other. and most of all, that our kids get along and love each other. even though they only get to see each other about 4 times a year, they pick up right where they left off and have a blast together!

2. midol . . . i kid you not!

3. spontaneously unplanned days at the park. and i'm also thankful that ryan can finally climb up the slide and go down by himself!

4. a daughter that finished her awana book (AND reviewed it) this year. and yes, i'm thankful for the celebratory treat that we got after her awards program!!

5. a photo shoot that went pretty good yesterday!

what are you thankful for today?!

thankful thursday

this is gonna be quick. because i have to go play a game with my family.

but today, i'm very thankful that my dad no longer has dial-up, but now has high speed internet. because instead of this taking me 15 minutes to post, it now takes me 2!! love you daddy!

what are you thankful for today?!

thankful thursday (updated)

updated:

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!!!

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original post:

you'll have to click here to see what i'm thankful for TODAY! 2 hours and counting, baby!!

thankful thursday

today i'm thankful for imagination. i loved my imagination (except for those times when it got the better of me) while i was growing up. and i can see that samantha's huge imagination is a lot like mine was.

we have this game at bedtime called "hey honey" that she and i play every now and then. it all started a few years ago when she ran upstairs and hid in bed. and when i went into her room to tell her goodnight she said from under the covers in her best 'daddy' voice "hey, honey!!" so i said, "hi, whatcha doin'?" to which she replied, "watchin' ball..." so we carried on a conversation as if she were ben, while she kept herself hidden under the covers.

after puting the kids to bed last night, i am thankful for imagination. because without it, i could not have great conversations like this:


sam (in her big bad daddy voice under the covers for the entire time) - "hey honey!"

me - "oh, hey babe. i didn't know you were up here. what are you doing in samantha's bed?"

sam - "just waiting to tell ryan goodnight."

me - "oh, well ryan's down here in his crib. so why don't you come down and tell him goodnight." (samantha has a loft bed)

sam - "i can't."

me - "why not?"

sam - "because i'm a ghost."

me - "haha. no you're not because ghosts aren't real."

sam - "YES THEY ARE!!!!!"

me - "well are ghosts ticklish?"

sam - "no."

i climbed up on the chair, put my hand under the covers and started tickling her and she started wiggling and laughing.

me - "sounds like you're laughing which means you're ticklish. so that means you aren't a ghost."

sam - "i know. i'm not a ghost. i'm an ALIEN."

me - "oh. well if you were an alien you wouldn't kiss ryan goodnight. you'd just take him back to your planet."

sam - "well why didn't you say so?!"

me - "because if you're an alien you should already KNOW that!"

silence

me - "hey, why don't you come and tell ryan goodnight then we can go downstairs and have a snack."

sam - "that's okay, i have snacks up here... like ten hundred snacks."

me - "oh, well can i have one?"

her hand emerges from underneath the covers and puts an imaginary snack in my hand.

me - "that's not a snack. that was nothing!"

sam - "it is too a snack. it's a ghost snack."

me - "well humans can't eat ghost snacks."

sam - "yes they can. it's a human ghost snack. you just have to imagination it."

me - "oh, well i could also just go downstairs and get a real snack..."

sam - "fine. go downstairs!"

me - "ok..."

as i started walking out of her room she jumped up out of the covers and started laughing. i acted all surprised that it was her and not ben, and she was quite proud of being able to conceal her identity for that long.

oh my sweet silly sugar, i'm so thankful you think like mommy and that i can imagination things with you!

thankful thursday

continual learning. that's what i'm thankful for today. or maybe i should say continual teaching, because there's plenty of days when i don't want to learn anything!

God has been teaching me some things this week and i'm actually learning from them! so many times we think we have it all figured out, and then God steps in and says "hey! let me show you this!"

one example from this week is on the topic of prayer. pastor bob had a great message on prayer this past sunday and at the close of his sermon he had everyone think of one thing weighing on their heart, write it on a piece of paper, and give it to God.

i didn't have any HUGE problems on my heart, but there was this one little thing that has been making me mad, upset, and angry for the past few months. i just figured i didn't have the right attitude about it, but i still hadn't ever prayed about it. well i wrote it down, talked with God about it, and wouldn't you know, monday afternoon it had already started to resolve itself. or, should i say, God had started to resolve it. call me stupid for not praying about it months and months ago, but at least i was smart enough to learn a God lesson this week!

and since we're on the topic of prayer, please keep baby stellan and his family in your prayers. he has been in the hospital with tachycardia since sunday night and definitely needs all the prayer he can get! (read this post from monday morning to start at the beginning.)

thankful thursday

today i'm thankful for the amazingly wonderful picnic the kids and i went to earlier this week. because of spring break we didn't have ladies' life groups at the church on tuesday morning. so instead we met at the park for a picnic playdate. it turned out to be more of a potluck, as everyone brought food to share. from subway sandwiches, brownies, chips, grapes, goldfish, and apples, to cookies, PB&Js, juice boxes, crackers, bananas, twinkies, and cheese singles, we had a FANTASTIC lunch! and one super smart mom even brought wet wipes for the whole crew!

it was a gorgeous 82 degree day. all the kids had a blast on the playground, and i'm sure they all had equally as good naps!

being the wonderful mom that i am, i totally forgot to take pictures of my own kids. but for those of you who want to look at pictures of people you may not even know, click here!


what are you thankful for today?

thankful thursday

today i'm thankful for:

• a toddler that let me sleep in until 9 this morning and took a good nap this afternoon
• no waiting to get an oil change
• uncovered plants that didn't freeze last night
• an uneventful grocery shopping trip and the now over-abundance of food in my pantry, fridge, and freezer
• conversations with friends
• time that i'll get to spend with my husband during his 3-day weekend
• the early late birthday present from my husband

what are you thankful for today?

thankful thursday

besides our high temp of 81, today i am thankful for signs of spring!

mom, you might have to help me out here, but i think the first picture is a hyacinth and the second one is tulips.

yea! spring is right around the corner!!!