not me! monday

finally back with a not me! last monday i was NOT way too exhausted to even think about blogging. our about to be 5 year old niece did NOT come over the previous friday because her parents were out of town. she did NOT cry and whine going to bed that night. and then she did NOT wake up the next morning throwing up. i did NOT lysol, clorox wipe, and germex every furniture, surface, and hand constantly. and i did NOT do mounds of bedding and blankets. that night, thankfully, she slept awesome. it was NOT because of the heaven-sent tylenol and benadryl. the next night, however, different story. she did NOT cry and cry again. and then at 3:30, she did NOT get up repeatedly to go to the bathroom, or get a drink, or cry, or tell me about a bad dream, etc. this did NOT go on until 7am when i finally made her go sleep on the couch. she did NOT come and wake me up a little later with blood on her shirt and fingers and nose... it was NOT monday—her last day with us. that night? i did NOT sleep like a baby the whole night through!


one night, after seeing a commercial for feminine products, samantha did NOT start asking a bunch of questions about what they were for and why mommies had to use them. my dear husband, ben, did NOT tell her that they were diapers for me to wear in case i went potty in my panties... umm?! thanks hun.


and speaking of panties, my dearest daughter did NOT grab a pair of my panties, hold them up for my mother-in-law to see, and announce, "nana!! look at mommy's panties!" they were not my mesh, ruffled, hot pink panties...


my sister has NOT come to the conclusion that i am disaster prone after i unintentionally drank bleach one night. you see, the bleach dispenser on my washing machine seemed to be clogged. after the bleach (not just straight bleach, the thicker color safe bleach) finally drained, i poured some water in the dispenser to see if it would drain. it didn't. so i did NOT decide to shove a straw down the hole to see if it was clogged. i tried to blow into the straw to try to loosen up the clog. but that didn't seem to work. so in my state of stupidity, i did NOT then decide to try and unclog it by SUCKING on the straw. annnnndddd.... mouth full of bleach. i did NOT immediately spit it into the washing machine. and then rinse my mouth out. again and again. it was finally ice cream that took that awful taste out of my mouth.


go visit mckmama.com to see if there's anyone else as stupid as me... i know i'm gonna!