You're Never Too Old To Learn Something New

meet ashley, my fourth and final guest post while i'm off on vacation, who can be found at let go, laughing. she's as cute as a button, a great cook (even though i've never tried her food. ha!), and a NEWLYWED! and she loves to laugh, even when life doesn't go the way you planned.

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Last week I decided to get rid of my acrylic nails and save and extra $35.00 a month seeing as our rent has just increased by $150 (Seriously!) and of course a few extra bucks would be nice in general. So on Friday, Greg and I decided to watch the Bourne Identity because we didn't want to see the Bourne Ultimatum until we had watched the first two again. Anyway, at one point we paused the movie and took a short break (Ebay can stop the world sometimes when the auction is about to end)... at this point I thought I would put some nail polish remover in a plastic Solo cup and soak a few nails in it (this is how you remove fake nails for those of you completely confused right now). I soaked a few nails while Ebay was ending and ripped two off and decided to leave the cup with the nail polish remover on the counter with a Kleenex over it so that I could finish the nails later without wasting the stuff....

About 20 minutes or so after restarting the movie, Greg looks at me and says "Did that stuff spill or something cause the smell is really strong?" I say "No, how could it spill? We have both been sitting here watching the movie and the stuff is in the bathroom." Greg: "Well I don't know but it's a really strong smell." I just shrug and we continue to watch the movie during which Greg continues to sniff his nose loudly with nasty looks on his face.

The movie ends and Greg goes over to the computer to check something I go into the bathroom to finish soaking my nails... or so I thought. I take the Kleenex off the top of the cup and look inside.... and its empty. My mind immediately starts going into overdrive on all the possible explanations. I'm thinking there is no way it spilled, no one was in there... where could it have gone... it doesn't just disintegrate into thin air. Well apparently nail polish remover does disintegrate a plastic cup and leak all over the counter and down the cabinets onto the carpet.

Now I'm thinking "OH CRAP!!!" I start to wipe it up and see just how bad it is.... its bad. It flowed all down the counter and around the basket on the counter and the lotion bottle leaving a lovely pink ring where the two items had been sitting; it then flowed down the counter all down the four WHITE drawers leaving an even lovelier fat pink drip down the one side. However, it miraculously did not ruin the carpet. It must have dripped on it somehow but we see no signs of it. After being stunned at my complete idiocy... I try to sneak to the kitchen, grab the spray and a sponge and get back to the bathroom to try to salvage some of the apartment bathroom. It is stained. The pink does not come off. Seriously, Greg is gonna freak.... I work up the courage to tell him about it and he of course says "I knew I was smelling it" (his version of "I told you so") and comes to see the damage. He, of course, is colorblind and can't see anything pink anywhere. Well that's all fine and dandy but I doubt the apartment manager is colorblind and he for sure will see my disaster and charge a hefty fine to fix my mess....

Oh well... now I know that nail polish remover (aka... alcohol) will eat away tiny little holes in the bottom of the plastic glass and create a lovely pink colored, alcohol smelling nightmare.

ax murderer x-ing

ladies and gentlemen, my third guest blogger, sara. you can catch her regularly at domestically disabled. she's a riot! and this post--well, it's just a glimpse of the entertainment you'll encounter over at her blog!

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Okay folks. Luckily for you, Erin is on vacation and stuff, so she let me take over for a post. Now Erin? Normal, nice, friendly lady. So basically, I have no idea why she is letting a spaz like myself take over her blog. I mean, what will the neighbors think? Will they look upon her choice of blog readerism as a sign of forthcoming spaziness on her part? I sure hope not. One of my favorite things about Erin and her blog? How it is so obvious she loves her children, husband and life. She is totally dedicated to what she loves and that is awesome. Me? I knew you'd ask. I rarely post pics of my boys, share only occasional stories and generally talk about myself. Its a sickness.{Actually, there are so many awesome blogs about children/family out there, that I figure you'd all rather read about those than what I have to say on those subjects.}

You should probably also know that I always write like this. Abstract. Random. Vague. I like a little mystery to my life. And? It totally goes against the grain of my career as a teacher. Yep, I teach children writing, then break all the rules.

Finally, I am about to fall asleep, so if you are interested? Here is the post that sums up my life fears. Enjoy!

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I have read a couple of posts lately that talk about people sleeping with a fan on or a white noise machine. Now, I like the sound of this. In fact, I slept with the fan on last night, and slept great, even through Asher throwing up. I cannot do it every night though, and have a question for those of you who do use one nightly.

Are you afraid of an axe (or chainsaw, even shotgun) murderer slipping in through a window and sneaking in to your bedroom to kill you and steal your underwear, whilst you are unaware, because you couldn't hear them approaching because of your white noise machine or fan?

Or, am I paranoid? I mean, I won't even tell you when my hubby is out of town until he is home, in case you are an ax murderer, or related to one, or even leave my blog open on your computer whereas an ax murder could access my blog and read it and see that I am alone.

(*Please don't assume my husband is a lot of help. Whenever I hear an ax murderer outside, he just snorts and goes back to sleep.)

I know I don't have my address or anything, but come on. I would dare say any ax murderer with any smarts beyond swinging his ax and stealing underwear could figure out where a blogger lives.

I think my fear comes from a young age. I remember being 10 or so years old, when my mom heard an ax murderer outside our door. She somehow convinced me to go look out the window while she "stood guard." As I crept fearfully towards the window, she reassured me I'd live. I looked, then turned around.

My mom was in the other room.

She left me alone with furry animal making noise ax murderer.

I am 29 years old, and can count on one hand the number of nights I've spent by myself. Whenever Corey goes out of town, I go to my parents, sisters or somewhere else. Yep, I pull out my big girl panties and suck it up.

Actually, a few months ago, I had a run in with the ax murderer himself. I finished a workshop early, and came home to take a nap. I was blissfully asleep, when I heard footsteps moving across the house, toward the bedroom. I had no idea what to do. Scream, hide, panic, what?!?
The footsteps stopped at the door to my bedroom. I peeked. (aren't I brave?) It was my husband. He had a meeting in town and stopped home for lunch. He is so lucky I didn't drop kick him like I'd planned. To this day, I can't sleep during the day anymore. It's too nerve wracking.

So that is my question. Are you afraid of ax murdering serial killers coming to kill you in your sleep?


**In fact, I worry just posting this, that it will encourage ax murderers who are googling Ax Murdering 101 to my blog, where they will get ideas. Hello Ax Murder! I live in Arizona! 2121 Langebirge lane E!

My blog was hacked by a dumb blonde

today i'd like to introduce you all to ace, my second guest blogger of the week. go check her out at If You Think Round Is Funny. because i guarantee it, if you think round is funny, you'll think she's hillarious!

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I've been saying for years that I really think I was meant to be a blonde. I tried last summer. See? I quite liked it and felt it suited my personality much better but Superman doesn't really get into blondes, so I finally gave up. But I have the blonde story of all blonde stories for you.


I was messing around on here while Superman was on his way home from work a while back. I had noticed on my site meter that I had one visitor that had stopped by several times one day, staying for a few hours at a time. There were multiple page views and it looked like they had been trying to view my drafted and scheduled posts. I freaked out thinking someone was trying to hack my blog. I had Superman look at it when he got home, he's smart like that. After looking around, he thought the same thing. He sat with the computer for at least an hour checking things out. We proceeded to change my passwords to something even I'll never remember.


Towards the end of the hour, Superman had me go to my blog on the other computer. Suddenly the problems were evident.


The IP address, the display size, the version of Firefox, the operating system...


I was the hacker.


You see, site meter spazzed on me and quit counting. I couldn't get it fixed and had to completely start it all over again. I swear to you that I blocked views from my own IP address. If I wouldn't have I'd have over a million visitors by now because of how obsessed I am with refreshing to see if anyone came by.


My thousands of refreshes that day never once changed my visitor number, leaving me completely surprised when Superman discovered that I was hacking myself and that site meter was no longer blocking my own IP.

It's fixed now. I feel like a complete moron.





**No offense to blondes was meant in the writing of this post. I totally wish I could go blonde without going orange**

There’s got to be a better way!

i'm happy to intruduce to you mary from giving up on perfect. she's the first of my guest bloggers while i battle gigantic minnesota mosquitos bask in the sun on a minnesota beach. mary is a personal in-real-life friend of mine, a great writer, and a entertaining example of imperfection! enjoy!

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I hate cleaning. No, that’s not quite clear enough. I really, really hate cleaning.

See, when I was growing up, my mom would joke that the only reason she and my dad had kids was so they’d have someone to do chores.

I thought she was serious. We did a lot of chores.

(Side note: My parents love us very much and were not actually slave drivers. Really.)

Now, this does mean that I know how to keep a house. And, as I told Mark the other day, I didn’t have to take Home Ec in 8th grade, because my mom taught me everything he learned in that class.

But it also means that now that I have my own home, if I don’t feel like cleaning (which, let’s face it, I usually don’t), I don’t clean.

Until we have company coming, that is. And then I run around like a maniac, picking up toys, folding laundry, sweeping floors, cussing at dust bunnies and cat hair, and washing dishes. That way, when my guests arrive, I might be sweaty, but my house is presentable, darn it.

But you know what happens the minute they leave, right? My house immediately starts collecting dust and scattering clutter, and before I know it, it’s messy again.

I just think . . . there’s got to be a better way! How do YOU keep your house presentable?

Oh, and just for you (but especially you, Erin), here are some pictures I took of my kitchen this week.








Mary blogs about an imperfect life at Giving Up On Perfect. She talks about family, faith, books, diet-friendly and fiber-filled foods like granola bars and nachos, celebrity look-alikes and chick flicks. You know, the important stuff.

Spring Fling – What I can not live without…

so remember how i told you that sara was having a spring fling blog swap kinda thing? well it's here!! and today on my blog i'm hosting cass from the rowan four. so here's her post with her favorite girly product:

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Hi Everyone! I am a guest blogger participating in Domestically Challenged’s Blogspot Spring Fling Event You can check out her blog here…

So back to the title of this post. What I can not live without…

…body mist. It is so very wonderful AND it has so many personalities’ uses too!

I have a story! So let’s flash back to the sixth grade – that would have been 19XX, ahhhh you didn’t think I has actually going to tell you did you??? There was a girl, we will call her Karen for this exercise, that always smelled ‘flowery’ and all the boys LOVED Karen! I have to admit she smelled good…for competition that is. Now I was a bit of a tomboy so smell had never really mattered to me until THAT year. So began my many years of searching for a smell that worked for me…I tried soap, shampoo, hairspray, perfume, lotion, you name it- I tried it! This one was too heavy, that one to musky, THIS one you could smell from across the room…oh the frustration. It wasn’t until the late 90’s that I discovered body mist. It was perfect, it was light, and I loved it.

So I have a love for things that smell good, but are light.

Now back to the many personalities’ uses of body spray. I use it for lots of things, not just my body. Let’s see- I spray my clothes to freshen them up, any room in the house OR furniture for that matter that needs a lift, great for hot days in the sun for a quick spritz to cool you off, and finally- ummm it’s great for those shoes that I refuse to wear sock with…My mom is shaking her head right now…

Now I have tried all brands, but my favorite right now is the New DOVE mists. Good news is they are inexpensive at a whopping $3.89 at target. I dare you to try them- what do you have to lose??? It’s not like shelling out a crisp Benjamin for a perfume you may end-up disliking after 2-3 weeks. Soooo-go for it!

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thanks, cass! it was a pleasure to blog host you! and don't forget to visit sara at domestically challenged to see everyone else's favorite girly item.

so what's your fav? what can you not live without?!